


Sanctuary

by needleyecandy



Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Hook, BDSM Clubs, Bondage, Electroplay, Flogging, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Undercover Missions, conflicting emotions, families
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 18:05:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 32,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12237957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needleyecandy/pseuds/needleyecandy
Summary: An MP determined to shut down an illegal BDSM club hires Thor to go undercover and gather evidence. Thor gets his pictures, but he finds something else there, as well.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stmonkeys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stmonkeys/gifts).



> This is a gift fic for stmonkeys as a thank-you for all the amazing illustrations she's been doing for my fics... and she illustrated this one as well!   
> If the summary reminds you of Preaching to the Perverted, you're right! 
> 
> Lots of NSFW art, while I'll indicate in the notes at the start of those chapters. The art in chapter 1 is borderline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art is inspired by justanothertart.tumblr.com. We'll be seeing more of him. ;)

"How hard?" Loki asked.

"Hard," Thor said.

A cheer rose up from the crowd and as Loki walked over to his selection of toys Thor closed his eyes, wondering yet again how he'd managed to get himself into this.

 

 

 

 _How he'd gotten himself into this_ was by answering politely rather than running away screaming – which he now knew he should have done – when he was approached by Mr Charles Sterling, MP, and told that his assistant had spoken well of Thor's computer skills and work ethic. Thor worked for Seraphic Systems, the Christian IT company, and Sterling's office had contracted with Seraphic two weeks ago to bring in temporary help while they began the process of hiring a new permanent staffer. Thor had been alternating with two other temps and was moving on to a new assignment completely the following week.

"I need someone in my office I can trust," Sterling told him. "Someone with values, someone not too proud to make a cup of tea the way all these Oxbridge applicants are."

"Oh, yes, sir, I'm the man for that," Thor said earnestly. His current job was hardly enough to pay his bills as they were, and he suspected that when his current lease ended his rent was going to go up even further beyond what he could afford. "I'll do anything. Computers, tea, I'll scrub the floor if you need me to."

"That's wonderful, lad. How soon can you start?"

Thor frowned. "A week Tuesday? My current job isn't the sort of place that expects notice, but I don't like to just not show up."

"A week Tuesday it is. I'll see you then."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

It was by far the easiest interview he'd ever had. In retrospect, he should have been suspicious from the start, but then again, in fairness to Mr Sterling, even he didn't know what task he'd be giving Thor until the second week of his permanent employment. He had thought it was like any other Wednesday until he arrived at the office to find Sterling waving a newspaper and shouting.

"...this degenerate filth is making a mockery of every value we hold dear," he was shouting as Thor entered. He turned to Thor. "Ah, Mr Odinson. Do you think it's nice to hit someone until they're bruised?"

"No, Mr Sterling," Thor said, straining to catch a glimpse of the paper.

"It was made very clear in the Spanner case. Assault occasioning actual bodily harm is a statutory offense, and consent of the victim is of no consequence. And now look at these. This whole stack, all of them about this disgusting American who has come to London and is now spreading his filth and corruption right under the law's very nose! And what is being done about it?"

"I'm not sure, sir," Thor answered.

"Just look at this photograph." Sterling finally held the paper still long enough for Thor to see the cover.

There it was on the front page, an underlit snapshot of a tall lean man wearing something tight and black and holding a crop beside what was clearly – despite the blurring to make it front-cover-acceptable – a bared arse. The bottom of the photo showed a sea of heads turned towards the stage, a whole crowd standing there watching. **US SEX FREAK SETS SIGHTS ON BUMS OF BLIGHTY** screamed the headline.

"It's sickening is what it is. An affront to any person of decency. And the rest of the article is even worse than the photograph. What do you think about running a needle right through a man's..." the MP's lips tightened up like he'd just bitten into a lemon. " _Penis_ ," he finished quietly.

Thor didn't usually mind needles – he didn't so much as blink an eye when he had to get an injection – but the thought of a needle _there_ made him more than a little sick to his stomach. "Horrible, sir," he answered.

"This man comes over here from New York bringing all his sickness and perversion and so far the police have been helpless to catch him. Just look at his website," said Sterling, swiveling his monitor around dramatically. 94 DAYS WITHOUT A SUCCESSFUL RAID said the top of the screen in crisp letters, pale green against the black background. At the center of the page there was a photograph of the same man - the American, it seemed - green-eyed and pale, wearing shiny black boots that came halfway up his thighs, a few carefully placed straps of what looked like the same material, and not much else besides a smirk. Behind him was a cascade of gifs, all of them showing something that looked like a particularly terrifying mop endlessly striking a bare bottom. Sterling tapped the screen. "And to name it Talisman, of all things. Blasphemy. I'm surprised the Lord hasn't struck him down."

"Aren't those supposed to be protective?"

"So they are." The monitor was turned back. "Just listen to this, from the 'kink A to Zed,'" Sterling pronounced stiffly. "Ahem. 'Cock and ball torture.' A range of practices involving pain inflicted upon the male genitals. Striking, piercing, and binding are common activities." He fixed Thor with a stern look. "Well, Mr Odinson, what do you think of that?"

"It sounds terrifying," Thor said frankly.

"Exactly. So you are in agreement with our work."

Thor nodded. "I feel dizzy just thinking about it."

He received a thin smile for his answer. "Keep your jacket on. We're going to the Yard to get some answers."

The Yard had no answers. Or rather, they did, but not the ones Sterling wanted.

"Don't you read the news, man? Bombs going off at music concerts, people driving vans into crowds. These religious fanatics can't stand the idea of people doing anything that doesn't fit their narrow view of how people ought to live. And you expect me to pull one of my team off that to go bust this sex club?"

"But they're breaking the law, are they not?"

"I can't. I'm sorry, but I simply can't. What you need to do is a private prosecution, if you're so determined. Get some evidence, take them to court yourself."

Sterling drew himself up. "I can't be seen at a place like that!" he said, aghast.

"Well then what about him? He's young and eager, and that pretty face will go far."

They both stood there, looking speculatively at Thor.

"I'm not sure, sir..." he began.

"You don't believe in this filth, do you, lad?"

"No, sir, but I'd-"

"You have the chance, right here, right now, to make a real difference. How many people can say that? This is the first step in reclaiming Britain from the filthmongers. Turn the tide back towards righteousness and godliness."

Thor hesitated.

"'I'll do anything,' you said, when I offered you the job."

He nodded. "Yes, sir. I'll do it."

"And there you are," said the Commander.


	2. Chapter 2

The car ride back to Westminster was, blessedly, silent, with Sterling reading through the rest of the morning's reports. Thor stared out the window and tried not to think about being the bare-arsed person on the cover of the next paper.

"I'm sure you'll wish to get started right away. Go clothes shopping," Sterling said when they climbed out. "Miss Flynde will issue a cheque to cover your initial costs. Please keep receipts for all expenses and I will see that you are reimbursed."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

"Thank _you_ , Mr Odinson. This is God's work you're doing. I'm so glad you caught my notice. You're just the man for this job."

 

Thor would have liked the chance to do more preparatory reading before he made his approach but Sterling was eager for him to make contact right away, so only two days later he was setting up a profile on a local fetish site, describing himself as someone new to London and hoping to get involved with the local community. Only a few days later he was invited to a 'munch' where he got to meet some people in person. It was easier than he'd expected; they barely talked about _that_ at all. Instead it really was what it had claimed to be on the website: a chance for people to get to know one another and build and maintain ties. And they were polite, and some of them quite witty, so he found it not too difficult to pretend to fit in.

It was after his third munch that he checked his email and found an invitation to a private chat room. He smiled and clicked the link.

Five minutes later, after a cold drink of water and a new browser extension that blocked images, he clicked it again.

It was rough enough with no pictures. People were talking about their favorite ways to get a good thud and Thor wished he couldn't guess what that meant. He was still trying to figure out how to join in the conversation when he got a PM from Rose, who had sent the invitation.

Domina_Rose: _Hi Thor! For a minute there when you disappeared I thought we'd scared you off :)_

Stormy_Thor: _LOL no, sometimes my computer crashes when I open a new tab, I had to reboot_

Domina_Rose: _Old?_

Stormy_Thor: _Nope, windows 10_

Domina_Rose: _Even worse ;)_

Stormy_Thor: _Yeah_

Stormy_Thor: _Thanks for the invite, btw_

Domina_Rose: _You're welcome. We can always do with more sweet sub boys. Or I can, anyway_

 

Once he had a membership he was logging on as often as he thought he could without looking desperate. He got used to most of the screen names pretty quickly, most of them appearing at least every few days, though some were quieter than others. He'd been a member for nearly two weeks when he got a PM from one of the silent ones.

Kneel_Before_Me: _Hi_

Stormy_Thor: _Hi_

Kneel_Before_Me: _I've been watching you. People like you_

Stormy_Thor: _Thanks. I try to be likeable_

_How very charming of you. So what's your real name?_

_It really is Thor_

_Like the storm god?_

_My parents were really into Viking history_

_I like it. It's a good name for a rainy day boy_

_We have a lot of rainy days here_

After a pause, Thor added a winking smiley face. Best to flirt with everyone, just in case.

_Then you must be in high demand_

_I guess so. Back home, anyway_

_You’re new to London?_

_I moved here three months ago_

_Me too_

Thor took a deep breath. _Are you Loki?_

_Ooo, clever boy. Now I have to change my username, though_

_Why?_

_I like the mystery_

_You’re very good at it_

_Flatterer. Okay, you're making me feel generous. What do you want to know?_

Thor could hardly ask for a list of names, dates, and photographic evidence. _Everything_

_Greedy. I’ll remember that. You may ask me one question and I will give you the truth_

_How can I find out about your events?_ Thor wished he could cross his fingers while typing.

Nothing. The cursor sat there, blinking spitefully.

“Shit, shit,” Thor muttered to himself. And then a url appeared in the box, followed by _user- rainydayboy password- reallyworshipsloki_

Thor gaped at the screen. _Thank you_ , he typed hurriedly.

_Now it's your turn_

_What do you want to know?_

_If I had you on my stage, what would you want me to do?_

This was going so fast. He wasn't ready. His mind whirled, trying to think of things that wouldn't be so bad... _I like to be tied up_

It was ridiculous, but he was sure he could feel Loki laughing at him through the ether. _I think that part's almost a given. What would I do once I have you bound?_

Thor bit his lip. _Arse play,_ he answered. In truth he could hardly bear the thought of doing any it, kneeling up there on the stage, being stared at while things were done to him.

_What kind? Insertions? Impact?_

It would be worth it when Mr Sterling had his successful prosecution, when this whole thing got shut down for good, he told himself. _Both_

_Hmm. We will see. I need to log off now. You go to bed and dream of how you would serve me, were you here_

_Goodnight,_ Thor typed, but Loki was already gone.

Thor took a deep breath and got on to Loki's site. It was minimal, nothing but a single page listing a date, address, and rules, but it was enough.


	3. Chapter 3

"It's in three days, Mr. Sterling," Thor said when he got to work the next morning.

"Excellent work! You'll get lots of photographs and we'll have our prosecution begun in no time at all."

"That's the problem, sir. No cameras of any kind are allowed. I'll have to leave my phone at home."

Sterling's face soured and Thor was about to apologize when he leaned forwards and pressed a button on his desk phone. "Miss Flynde, please cancel all my appointments." He rose and put on his coat. "Well? Are you coming?"

Thor jumped to his feet and followed.

Sterling had the car take them across town, talking all the while about the poor values of modern society with all its sickness and perversions. "Why, I dare say a lad like you would be mocked to say he was waiting for his wedding!" he exclaimed.

It was true that when he was younger Thor had been teased and made a figure of fun for holding to his values, but he didn't really want to discuss it. "Where are we going, sir?"

"Spy shop. Mostly novelty gadgets and so forth but I expect we'll find something for you to use."

They did, a shiny black jacket that fit him like a second skin. There was a tiny camera built into one of the decorative studs that covered the shoulders. "You've already got your other things to wear?" Sterling asked.

"I do, yes." Thor was infinitely grateful that he'd thought to do his clothes shopping (if what he bought could really be considered clothing) early. The thought of going to that store with Sterling was not to be borne.

The night of the event came far too quickly. He put on the harness-thing that dipped between his legs, keeping his cock restrained and then coming up the sides of his arse before covering his chest in a maze of straps and buckles. Over them he put a pair of bondage trousers and his spy jacket. Even his boots had D-rings on the sides. He tried not to think about it.

The address was in an old warehouse district. The line of people led up to a recessed area in which two doors were set opposite each other. Thor finally made his way to the front.

The bouncer looked him up and down, clearly evaluating his outfit. "Wait," he said, bored.

"Wait? Wait for what?"

It got him a snort.

He had stood waiting almost ten minutes when there was a stir at the opposite door, the one labelled STAFF. Loki had come outside to cast his eyes over the waiting supplicants. Everyone was instantly clamoring for his notice, begging for admittance, their voices melting into a hubbub. Loki looked out over them, traces of amusement on his face. He was the only other person there anywhere near Thor's height.

"Loki! Loki, it's Thor. It's your rainy day boy," Thor called.

Loki's eyes met Thor's. His lips curled faintly before he looked away, catching the attention of the bouncer and nodding.

"Right, you're in," Thor was told. He cast a quick glance back but Loki was already turning away, disappearing inside. Thor went in the guest door and took a deep breath.

It was cavernous, the ceiling high and unfinished, and while the lights were low they weren't half low enough for Thor's taste. Up on stage a man was kneeling. He had a chain hanging from his nipples and a woman was leaning over him, whispering in his ear and tugging at it and every time she pulled the man made a sickly pleading scream.

Thor let himself get caught up in the vague stream of people moving through the space. There were smaller rooms off to one side, half-enclosed spaces where people were doing things to each other while others watched. In one, two men were doing things to a woman that left Thor unsure whether he was more dizzy or more ill. It was definitely sick, Thor knew, and the worst of it was the look of ecstatic bliss upon her face. In another, a woman had a group of men lined up and Thor had to witness a live demonstration of the torture Mr Sterling had read to him about. He was quite certain that the hardware company that had made those vises had never intended such a use, and being spattered with _that_ would almost certainly void the warranty. He made it through three more rooms before he shoved his way through the masses of people to go find the loo and splash cold water on his face. He was still there when the crowd started cheering as one. Loki. He dried his face and went out.

 Loki was onstage, dressed in a pair of tight black chaps that glowed beneath the colored lights shining about the room. His upper body was bare but for the sleeves clinging to his lower arms and while he was slender, lacking the bulk of many of the men in attendance, there was no doubt that the power was entirely his. He raised his arms and the crowd screamed in adulation.

The first part of the show was with people who appeared from backstage. Thor forced himself to watch as Loki put something electric up the skirt of a woman in a vinyl nun's habit; she stood with her hands clasped in a mockery of prayer right through her climax. Five nude men followed, paired with five fully-dressed women who affixed their hands to a rail above them. The women paddled them, each one stepping back in turn for Loki to make his way down the row and lay his whip to their bruising arses. When Loki reached the last one, he grinned and squeezed something thick and shining onto the handle and Thor finally turned away.

The bartender gave him his soda water without comment. He would have thought it was too cold except that the chill of it seemed to make him feel a little better. The effect lasted until he turned around just in time to see Loki putting a needle through someone's nipple. He swallowed and focused on his breathing.

The job. He was here for a job and he had to do it if he wanted this whole horrible business shut down. There were too many people in the way of his camera, he was sure of it. He probably had photographs of the people in the side rooms, but he was here for Loki. If he was going to get the evidence, he didn't have a choice.

There was an area beside the stage that was cordoned off, a large VOLUNTEERS sign hanging above it. For the first time in his life, Thor wished he drank. He tensed his jaw and approached.

There was a woman standing at the gap in the rope holding a clipboard.

"Volunteer?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"New?"

He nodded.

"Right. Volunteers acknowledge that aftercare will not be provided by the house, first of all. Either you have someone to provide it or you don't need it. Either way, it is not our responsibility." She rattled it off like she could do it in her sleep.

"Okay."

"Nothing will be done that you do not request prior to the scene. All sterilizable gear has been properly sterilized and the rest will be covered with a fresh condom. You will see everything being prepared for use on you and if you do not want it you are ordered to make that known."

He nodded again.

"Do you have any questions?"

 _How do I get out of here?_ He shook his head. "Nope."

She handed him the clipboard. "Then please read the rules closely, ask any questions, and sign only when you understand and agree to everything."

The rules didn't say anything she hadn't told him. He signed it and handed it back.

A woman stood at the top of the stairs holding a microphone, talking to the chosen volunteers as they took the stage. It was mostly couples that went up, one of them standing to the side while Loki did _things_ to the other one, helping them off the stage afterwards. Some of them were sobbing. The ones who weren't looked even more frightening, like their eyes were fixed on something that wasn’t there, moving as though they were in a cloud.

"And now, for our last volunteer of the night," the woman's voice rang out. _Shit,_ Thor thought. There was no way he'd be chosen out of all these people, with their strange hair and troubling clothing. He'd have to come back and go through all this again. She was looking down at them, bodies pressed too tightly together in the makeshift pen, her eyes squinting slightly against the stage lights, when Loki interrupted.

"Him," Loki said, pointing.

Thor blinked up at him.

"That's you, that's you, go," people said, pushing him towards the stairs, bitterness on some tongues, encouragement on others.

The woman with the microphone waited for him at the center of the stage. Her eyes swept over him critically. "Pretty face. Are you pretty when you cry?"


	4. Chapter 4

Thor stammered something useless and her eyes widened with impatience. "I guess we'll just have to wait and find out," she said to a roar of applause. "So, what are you into?"

"I love being bound, and I like all kinds of arse play. Insertion and impact are the best," he said, echoing his chat with Loki.

After the microphone was turned off she told him, "Your safeword is mercury. Got it?"

"Mercury," he repeated.

"Again."

"Mercury."

It was only after she stalked off that he realized a low cube had been dragged forwards, just to his left. It was metal and had rings seemingly all over it. Loki stood there, looking amused. Two people came forward and removed Thor's outer clothing, leaving him in nothing but the harness, which somehow made him feel more naked than if he weren't wearing anything at all. The crowd cheered again as Loki made a grand sweep of his arm, inviting Thor to kneel and drape himself over the cube. His head, not his arse, was towards the audience. They wanted to watch his humiliation. They wanted to see him cry.

Something was put before his face, a thing like a metal hook but what use it could be with a ball on the point of it, he couldn't imagine. Not until Loki suggested he kiss his _new friend_. He closed his eyes as he pressed his lips to the ball.

It was slippery when Loki put it in. He was grateful for that; it still felt large and frightening, but between the slickness and the constant even pressure, the moment he gathered enough self-control to bear down as he was told, it slid inside him without hurting. Once it was in it felt large and heavy, but not uncomfortable so much as awkward, and he realized with a start that Loki must have warmed as well as slicked it.

He closed his eyes as the hook jostled and tugged and then went still once it was fastened to his harness. His arms were drawn down to the sides of the cube and tied to two of the rings, and then his knees and ankles tied to others. He was utterly helpless, bound up on a stage before hundreds of people, and he was about to be beaten to tears.

"How hard?" Loki asked.

"Hard," Thor said.

A cheer rose up from the crowd and as Loki walked over to his selection of toys Thor closed his eyes, wondering yet again how he'd managed to get himself into this.

Loki returned carrying something that looked a lot like the gif on the website only with thicker strips of rubber and red rather than black.

"Ready?"

Thor squeezed his eyes, clenched his jaw, and nodded.

It _hurt._ The impact shoved him forwards against the support, knocking the air out of him and making tears spring up. He could feel his face getting red with the strain of holding back a pained shout. It left a deep ache where it thumped against the swell of his arse and a sharp stinging at the tops of his thighs where the ends of the strips bit into his skin, and if the first one was bad the second was going to be on skin that was already screaming-

The second time he wasn't silent. The first one was nothing to this and his tears sprang free and he could hear the crowd cheering and he opened his eyes just enough to see their faces alight with joy at watching this.

The third didn't come when he expected it. Instead there was a brush of hair against his shoulder and then Loki was whispering in his ear, his voice no longer echoing from the speakers that lined the room, "Play along." Loki's tongue was halfway up his cheek before he realized his tears were being licked away. "Delicious," Loki purred into his microphone and the crowd was cheering as Loki moved away and Thor braced himself.

The next stroke was almost whisper-light against him though it made the same sharp _crack_ as the others. Thor wasn't entirely sure what was going on but after being told to play along he figured that was what he'd better do, so he screamed again. His arse still hurt like hell so it wasn't hard at all to force out another pair of tears. He jerked forwards with each stroke that followed, crying out, panting for air in between.

After Loki stepped back with a brisk nod two women untied Thor's arms and legs and helped him stand. They began to walk him towards the stairs, one on each arm, but Loki stopped them. "Backstage," he said.

They were too controlled to show their surprise in anything but a brief tensing of their hands on his arms.

He was left standing beside the stage door with a curt, "Stay." His arse still ached and stung and he realized suddenly that the metal thing was still inside him. The room was almost completely barren but he was not given long to grow bored.

Loki appeared just a few minutes later, his coming heralded by the screams and cheering of the crowd. "This way," he told Thor, ignoring the others who trailed behind him.

Thor followed him silently into a covered alley and stood aside as Loki climbed into the first of the waiting limos. "I'm not sure how well I can sit," Thor said awkwardly.

Loki gestured to the long bench on the side. "You may have that."

Thor nodded and got in, stretching out on his stomach. With his feet sticking up he just fit. Loki sat on the back bench, gently stroking Thor's hair, gazing out the window. It didn't surprise him that the two of them were alone in the car; he'd heard about how Loki had gotten his staff. When Loki had first come to start his series of London shows, he had hired twelve dominants, mostly women, to be, still dominant, but below him in rank. They had brought with them their slaves, who had therefore become Loki's slaves somehow, but despite the sharing it was clear that the others still belonged most of all to the dominants who had brought them. Loki had brought no one with him from the States and so most nights he rode alone. When the car stopped again Thor followed without being told.

Loki's dungeon looked exactly how Thor had expected it in his worst fears.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moderately safe for work art? He's wearing pants but no shirt, and it looks hot rather than casual.

It was a huge open space, an old warehouse it looked like, and there were cages on the floor, more cages hanging from the ceiling, chains from the walls, unfamiliar furniture with heavy rings for rope and more with built-in cuffs. He walked, trying not to stare, as he was led through the shop of horrors to the far side of the room, where they entered a shockingly normal-looking bedroom. "Lie down," Loki ordered.

Thor lay on his stomach again, his head turned towards the bedside chair where Loki was artfully collapsing. A few seconds later a man wearing nothing but a ball gag was settling to hands and knees before him and Loki put his feet up.

"You didn't like that," Loki said with a sigh.

"I did, I-"

Loki held his hand up. "You didn't. Maybe they couldn't tell, but I could. Why would you ask for something you don't like? Did your dominant order you?"

"I don't have a dominant. No one made me. I just... I wanted you to like me."

Something moved behind Loki's eyes. He raised his feet and shoved the kneeling man away. "Close the door," he ordered as the man scuttled off.

 

A moment later they were alone. Loki moved to the bed, sitting on the side and looking down at Thor.

"How little you must think of me, if you thought you could make me like you by submitting to things you neither desire nor enjoy."

It took Thor a moment to realize that the trembling of the bed was Loki, shaking with emotion. He was tempted to lie, to insist that he did like it, but he had the feeling Loki would see right through him so instead he told the truth. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to risk my one chance, and now I've gone and ruined it all the same."

Loki sighed again, but Thor's words seemed to calm him. He leaned down and opened a drawer beneath the bed. When he sat up he was holding a small plastic jar. He unscrewed the lid and began to rub a cool ointment into Thor's still-burning skin, his touch at once painful and soothing. "This will help the stinging. I'm afraid there's nothing to be done for the ache but wait. You might not like sitting in the meantime, but you'll be able to. Two good strokes may feel like a lot to someone unaccustomed but it's not really very much at all."

Thor thanked him meekly.

"I'm new to you, you didn't know. But remember in future that consent is not enough to satisfy me. I want your desire."

 _In future._ Thor hadn't ruined his chance after all. "I will. I promise."

The cream did help with the stinging, and between physical relief and mental relief he found himself somehow relaxing despite the metal still up his arse. And then Loki's hand bumped the hook and he let out a gasp. He bit his lip, blushing, though whether it was because of his sudden pleasure or the noise, he wasn't sure.

"Ah, there's what you like," Loki purred.

Loki kept rubbing in more cream, long after the stinging was gone, nudging the hook every so often, making Thor moan each time. He was hard before he realized he was stiffening. And then Loki took hold of the thin piece of steel and tugged. Thor moaned again, louder, the feel of the ball pulling at his rim doing things to him he could never had dreamed. Loki pushed it deeper and the slick glide through his insides made him almost dizzy. And then Loki was pulling again, and pushing, and pulling, and Thor dimly realized he was being fucked with it and that he liked it.

Loki's voice, commanding, cut through the haze in his mind. "Rub yourself off on my sheets."

That was how Thor had started masturbating, his adolescent mind somehow convincing itself that if he didn't touch himself then it didn't really count. There was no doubt that it counted now. The ball was moving inside him with maddening regularity and he began rolling his hips up to meet it as it slid deeper and curling forwards as it drew back. The sheets were the sort of cotton that felt like satin but better and soon he was rutting himself against the wet spot he had made.

When he came, Loki talked him through it. "So good, giving me everything," he crooned, "that's right, keep going, just a little more for me."

Thor knew how he should have felt when it was over. He should have been ashamed, humiliated, aching to crawl to church to beg forgiveness. Instead he felt calm and free, and the only place he wanted to crawl was into Loki's lap. He settled for curling up on his side and resting his forehead against Loki's leg.

Loki put his hand on Thor's arm. "That's the first time you've done this, isn't it?" he asked softly.

Thor nodded. Loki's leather trousers were so soft they felt almost liquid against his skin.

"Then I suppose you'd best stay the night. A bath and dinner, I think, and then you may pleasure me."

When Loki stood, Thor made a murmur of complaint and reached for him.

"It's alright. I'm not leaving you," Loki told him, his voice hushed and peaceful. Instead he stuck his head out the door and spoke to someone. Even the reminder that there were people right outside wasn't enough to make him blush now. The jiggling as Loki untied the cord holding the hook to his harness made him feel almost like laughing. "Bear down, just like when we put it in," Loki said.

Thor did as he was told, breathing hard through the worst of the stretch, and then it was out with an unsettling sense of loss. Loki put it down on the ruined bedclothes and helped Thor up on shaking legs. It was the work of seconds to have Thor free of his pointless harness before Loki walked him to the bath. The tub was large and filled rapidly, the air giving way to steam as they waited. Loki slithered out of his tight clothes and got in, beckoning Thor to follow with a tilt of his head.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art for this chapter is what started this fic - she sent it to me for something earlier, and I said, "Hot damn, that needs its own fic," and now here we are. I'd say it's on the sexy side of SFW, so if you're among others maybe scroll a little cautiously.

Thor was still feeling desperately in need of cuddling and while Loki was right that he could sit on his arse, that didn't mean it was pleasant, so when Loki put out one arm in invitation Thor shifted to his side and nestled into it.

“This is not the normal way to go about getting into this sort of thing, you know,” Loki said.

“I thought the point was to not be normal.”

Loki’s laughter was low and rich. “The point is to test people's limits, to see how far they can allow themselves to let me take them. To find how much they can give. But I can see how perhaps from the outside it looks that way. So what was it that brought you to me?”

“I saw you in the papers, and I thought…”

“Mm?”

 _I thought you ought to be imprisoned for what you do._ The idea seemed strange, almost nonsensical now. “I thought you were the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.”

Loki laughed again, delighted, and Thor twisted further into him, burying his face in Loki’s shoulder. The surface of the water tickled his lips. A thin glisten told of a layer of oil. This close he could smell it, faint traces of peach and musk.

“You feel shy about telling me that after what we’ve just done?”

Thor shrugged.

Loki kissed the top of Thor’s head. “What a dear little thing you are.”

Thor hummed and tried to nuzzle his face deeper.

“I don’t get to do much of this, you know. Aftercare,” Loki said softly.

“I thought you got to do whatever you want.”

Not even Loki's graceless snort could shake Thor's mood. “I do almost entirely what the sub wants. You’ll come to learn that. But I have to have a blanket refusal on aftercare at these things or it would be too overwhelming. Imagine trying to do this for forty people."

“Why me, then?”

Another kiss. “Why do you think?”

Thor was starting to wonder if he’d somehow been drugged. There was no reason these kisses should make him so happy. He stared at Loki’s skin. It was too close to focus, smoothing out the tiny pores into inhuman perfection. “You asked if I had been ordered to ask for that stuff on stage. You wanted to talk to me alone.”

“Very good. See? You’re learning already.”

They fell into silence, Thor lying still, Loki stroking his hair. When Loki spoke again it was to point out that if they stayed in the bath much longer they’d both turn into raisins. "If we're not careful we'll be baked into one of your terrifying English desserts," he explained.

Thor chuckled. “Not a fan of spotted dick?”

“In _my_ line of work? Not with all the latex and autoclaves in the world. Now stand up, I want to watch you wash. Give me a nice show.”

Thor wasn’t entirely sure how to make a show of it but Loki seemed happy enough, nodding and commenting as Thor turned this way and that. The slickness between his arse cheeks was thick and greasy and took some work to get it all off but at least Loki didn't make him turn away while he did it. Thor sat gingerly on the side while Loki cleaned himself of the sweat from the stage lights.

“Dry me,” Loki said when they got out. Thor again did as he was told, admiring the long smooth muscles as he ran a plush towel over Loki’s skin. There was a robe for Loki to wear. Thor got a towel to wrap around his hips, barely long enough to cover his cock. Loki seemed pleased.

Their food was waiting for them. Thor watched Loki’s wet hair dry into damp curls and he didn’t taste a bite.

It wasn’t until they were back in the bedroom, door closed and clean sheets on the bed, that the rest of Loki’s words sank in. _And then you may pleasure me._ He didn’t have many guesses on how that would be done and he _really_ didn’t want to do most of them. “Um… I’m waiting. For my husband,” he said awkwardly.

“And I’m not going to fuck you." Loki reached beneath the bed and pulled out a plastic box, clunky and fifties-looking, wires hanging from it. “The military used to use these to keep the boys’ muscles in shape. They had no idea what it could do to a frenulum.” He plugged it in and lay back, reclining upon the pillows. He was half-hard, his cock looking full but still resting on his thigh rather than standing erect. “Turn it on, and then the metal tips go on either side of it,” he prompted when Thor didn’t move.

“How high should I start it?”

“About halfway,” Loki answered, shrugging.

Halfway was high enough for the box to make an alarming buzzing noise but when Thor hesitated Loki rolled his eyes. "Do you have problems with doing what you're told?"

"Sorry."

Loki was already getting harder, just from the noise, it seemed, his cock nearly upright as Thor cautiously touched the electrodes to opposite sides of the delicate tissue. Loki cried out, arching his back, and Thor jerked back as though stung.

"No, don't worry, it's good," Loki gasped. His cock was fully erect now, twitching as though trying to seek out more attention. Thor put the electrodes back and watched Loki react again. His hair was in soft humid curls and his legs fell farther apart as he moved restlessly. His skin was still flushed pink from the warmth of the bath and in this light, Thor could see the faint shadow where the hair on his waxed chest was just beginning to come back.

"Higher," Loki moaned. Thor turned the knob higher, higher, working by feel because it was impossible to look away from the sight of Loki writhing against the messy sheets. By the time it would go no higher Loki was whimpering, his legs fallen wide to reveal a dark shadow behind his sack. Neither his posture nor his noises seemed to give him shame and Thor found himself awash with envy. Loki showed not the slightest care for anything but his own pleasure. His own blood began to race again as Loki cried out, spilling across his stomach while Thor tried desperately to keep the probes against his bouncing and jerking cock.

Thor half-expected he was going to be told to lick it up, which he didn't want to do, but then Loki was cleaning himself with his robe and moving to one side and patting the bed. "I can get the light," Thor offered, looking around for a switch.

"They'll do it," Loki said. "Come on, tuck in."

It wasn't until he was nestling into the deep pillow that it struck him how long it had been since he'd shared a bed with someone. Fifteen years, probably. When his cousins used to visit in the summers he was put in the big guest bed with Joseph while Tina got his own smaller one. Loki clapped his hands and perhaps thirty seconds later the lights went out. Thor fell asleep with Loki's hand on his arm.


	7. Chapter 7

He woke up before Loki and realized he had no idea where his clothes were. His towel that he'd worn to dinner was on the floor, damp and chilly, but he wrapped it around his hips anyway. Outside the bedroom people were moving about, looking up when they saw the door opening and looking away when they saw it wasn't Loki. It was way too embarrassing to ask these silent figures if they'd seen his clothes. He dropped the towel and got back into bed, waiting for Loki to wake. He lay stiffly.

"Morning," Loki mumbled, blinking at him.

He looked over. "Morning." Loki had raccoon eyes. Thor hadn't even noticed he'd been wearing eyeliner.

Loki chuckled as he stirred into wakefulness. "You don't need to be so uncomfortable. Really."

"I'm not. It's just... I don't know."

"Okay. Well, you stay cozy for another minute."

Thor pulled the covers up to his neck as Loki got out of bed and sat down in front of a vanity. Thor hadn't noticed that last night, either. How out of it had he been? He watched as Loki cleaned efficiently around his eyes and applied fresh lines before attacking his unruly hair, taming it into a gleaming waterfall down his back.

His head felt clearer this morning. He wondered again if he'd been drugged, to have done - and worse, enjoyed - what they'd done the night before. Loki was behaving no differently. Thor searched his face for traces of guilt and found none, but that meant little. With the things he did, Thor doubted whether he really had a conscience.

Loki stood and reached into the closet and when he turned back to the bed he held two robes. He put on the black and gave Thor the green, fabric plush and soft as a baby blanket. Thor rose, pretending he didn't feel his nakedness, and put it on.

"Breakfast?" Loki's head was tilted to the side, pale eyes fixed on Thor as though there was another question he wasn't asking.

"Thanks."

The people were still out in the main room, and now as they walked between them Thor realized what they were doing. Some of them – the dressed ones – were moving about, fastening others onto benches, tying them to upright restraints, half-covering them in ornate wrappings of rope and hanging them from the ceiling. Loki strolled easily between them, delivering a sharp slap to an exposed arse here, ruffling someone's hair there, all with such nonchalance it was as though he saw no difference between them.

A woman wearing nothing but heavy leather cuffs and a tall collar was kneeling beside the table, hands crossed behind her back and gaze lowered. "Coffee and croissants," Loki said as he sat down. He looked at Thor. "Or do you want tea?"

"Coffee's good. Thank you."

Their coffee came soon, and the pastries not long after. There was a whole plate of them, plain and chocolate and almond filled, and a bowl of airy whipped butter beside them. Loki chose a chocolate one and took a bite. "Any plans for the day?"

It was so innocuous, so unexpected that Thor was certain he heard incorrectly. "I'm sorry?"

"Any plans for the day? It's the weekend. You must have something planned."

"Oh." Thor took a gulp of coffee. It was too hot to drink quickly and it scorched his tongue. "I'm taking my niece to the zoo tomorrow. She's on a penguin kick."

"Sensible of her."

"She's a smart kid," Thor answered.

"How old is she?"

He could do this. This was a nice, normal conversation and he could do this. "Nine. She wants to be an ornithologist when she grows up."

Loki smiled. "I used to want to study owls. Maybe I'll take my slaves to the zoo. Would you like that?" he asked, looking down at the figure who had returned to kneel at his side.

"Yes, master. I like the lizard house," she murmured.

Thor looked away as Loki leaned over to kiss her head. "I need my clothes," he pointed out.

"Thor needs his clothes," Loki said over his shoulder. There was a quiet flurry from behind them and his things materialized on the empty chair beside him.

"Were you going to put them on now?" Loki prompted when Thor made no move.

"I'm still eating."

Loki picked up his cup, saw it was empty, and set it down. Thor took a bite of his breakfast and chewed. Loki's coffee was refilled.

"There's no need to be jealous, Thor," Loki told him.

I'm not jealous."

"Okay." Loki smiled into his cup like he disagreed.

They were back in the bedroom before Loki spoke again. "I didn't mean to tease you about being jealous. There are so many better ways to tease..."

"It doesn't matter. I know it didn't mean anything," Thor said as he pulled on his trousers. They were clammy with sweat and difficult to get on. He didn't really want to put that stupid harness back on but it wouldn't fit in his pocket and it cost too much to leave it behind. Loki stood there in his long plush robe, watching. He thought of the night before, Loki telling him to put on a show. He tried to make this as uninteresting as he could.

"I think you've got it backwards. Meaning is not the domain of exclusivity alone," Loki said. "Just because something happens once doesn't mean it didn't matter."

It was ridiculous, stupid and ridiculous, to be so offended by Loki's ease in being affectionate with others and at the same time so determined that nothing mattered but the mission. "Before, you said something about the future," he said sullenly.

"And I meant it. But I have other slaves who serve here as well, and if that's something you can't handle it's better to face it right away."

"I understand."

Loki cupped his hand to Thor's cheek. "Goodbye, Thor. Have a good time tomorrow with your niece."

It wasn't until Thor was halfway home that he realized he hadn't gotten a single photograph.


	8. Chapter 8

Thor did his best to keep his attention on Addie. They spent nearly an hour watching the penguins, which he thought was impressive for her age, though he wasn't sure. Maybe kids that age got fixated and so it wasn't impressive at all. He couldn't remember. Anyway, the fact that she was so riveted by the birds made it easier to hide the fact that his attention was only half on her. The rest was on the very real fear that Loki would decide to bring his... _them_ to the zoo and Thor had no idea how he would handle that particular situation. Baldr and Nanna would hardly thank him for introducing their daughter to that sort, no matter how grateful they were to get a few hours to themselves.

On Monday he had to admit to Mr Sterling that he hadn't gotten any pictures.

"What are you wasting my time for? Don't you know I had to pay for that equipment out of my own pocket?" he demanded.

"I'm sorry, sir. They took the jacket off me, I couldn't do anything about it."

Sterling clicked his tongue. "Well, you'll just have to go back. Get some proper photos this time."

"Yes, sir." 

At least he didn't ask questions, didn't seem to want to know anything more. Thor didn't like lying but he couldn't very well tell him what had happened, either.

Thor spent the day at the computer, browsing more of the sites that he'd wished he'd been given time for earlier. He had to go back, and now Loki knew some of what he didn't like. He needed to find something (besides what he'd already done, he remembered with a blush) that Loki might believe he did.

It didn't matter, anyway. The next time he went there was no place for volunteers; the show instead was a single elaborately styled performance in which each person involved clearly knew their role. The usual black backdrop had been replaced by red and a throne had been given pride of place on a dais at the center of the stage, dominating the vast room even while it stood empty. The show started nearly an hour later, as well, the extra time given to dancing and things in the smaller rooms that he determinedly didn't think about. Thor did like going out dancing, though money and an erratic work schedule meant he didn't do it often, so he did his best to enjoy it for what it was. It was nearly midnight when the music and lights both faded to nothing. As the audience waited, a fragrance filled the vast warehouse, brittle and sweet.

When the lights returned it was a single white spotlight on the throne where Loki now sat, wearing some grape vines and not much else. At the foot of the throne stood a male slave, naked but for a pair of boots, holding a scroll. Looming over him on the first step stood one of Loki's dommes. The figures on the stage were silent and still until the audience fell into silence.

Loki's voice filled the room, the high ceilings echoing it back better than any effect could ever hope to do.

"The frescoes in the Villa of the Mysteries afford us a rare glimpse into the initiation rituals of Dionysus as practiced in Pompeii. The series of paintings follows a girl through the process by which she sheds her childhood ignorance and becomes a woman of experience. These ancients, in their wisdom, recognized that the step into womanhood was one to be celebrated. In the first fresco, we see the initiate with her offering." Loki turned his head to the right and gazed before him.

The circle of light softened and expanded to include a girl standing at the side of the stage wearing a filmy purple robe and a crown of olive-green leaves. Her left hand was upon her heart and in her right hand she held a tray on which small cakes were piled high. Thor realized with a start that he knew her. The slave who had served their breakfast, the morning after he had spent the night with Loki. It was strange now to see her dressed. Only after the eyes of the audience had drunk their fill did she walk with stately gravity to the dais, where she set down her offering. She stood facing Loki, hand on her heart and her head bowed.

Again Loki's voice filled the room. "The second fresco portrays a priestess of Dionysus preparing a sacred basket while her attendant fills a basin. Beside them Silenus plays his lyre."

Loki looked to his left and the gaze of the audience followed as one. The light expanded once again to show another domme, garbed in a flowing gown of white, holding a basket. Standing beside her was a male slave in sandals and something metallic over his cock, holding a decanter. Beside them lounged one of Loki's two male doms, a lilac cloth slung low about his hips and a lyre in his hands. The priestess moved slowly, removing a cloth from her basket. Only once she was done did the slave pour his water into the basin at his feet. The three of them turned their attention to the throne and Thor followed their gaze, looking up at Loki. He vaguely remembered learning about these frescoes in school and being startled at what used to be done in the name of religion, and he wasn't at all sure it wouldn't be better to turn away, but he needed those photos. The sooner he got them, the sooner he could be done with this assignment and set about forgetting this place existed.

"The next fresco shows the initiate crossing into the natural, animal realm. Around her revel the companions of Dionysus."

The stage lights changed color, casting a soft emerald glow in the center. The remaining dominants now appeared, their horned headdresses and cloven boots a far cry from their usual sleek attire. Their dance at first appeared random, and Thor realized – just as the initiate seemed to - that they were weaving a net from which she could not escape.

"The initiate attempts to flee from her encounter with the god and from the cup of knowledge," Loki proclaimed as the dancers drove her forwards. At last she fell to her knees at the foot of his throne and a goblet placed in her hand. At Loki's gesture she drank, and as the empty cup was taken from her hand her garments were stripped away.

Loki reached down and took her hands in his own. "It is in the combination of this drink and the pain of flagellation that induces the state of ecstasy, ex stasis, going outside of oneself," he intoned, and then the dancing figures were holding reeds, and as they danced past her they lay their canes across her shoulders, her buttocks, her back. Thor kept his eyes raised, fixed on her outstretched hands still grasped in Loki's.

They must have had some unnoticed signal for once she was thoroughly marked, her skin almost a solid sheet of red, she rose to her feet and, despite the further pain it must have induced, joined in the dance. He hadn't even noticed the music until this moment. It was ponderous, with a low and mesmerizing tempo, shaking though Thor's body. The dancers turned and turned, hair whirling, hypnotized by the incessant rumbling beneath their feet. Those figures holding flails laid them across the skin of each person they passed, until one by one the dancers slipped away into the darkness. Loki alone remained on the stage, still seated as the music throbbed to a close. The room held several hundred people and Loki wordlessly demanded their attention. Thor was certain he could have heard a pin drop. At last he appeared satisfied and rose to his feet.

"And so the initiate is marked, at once agent and reminder of her encounter with the divine. No longer an ignorant child but an erotic woman, she now holds the knowledge to transcend the rational, to grasp the power of the sensual and the ecstatic."

These last words spoken, he descended. Thor expected someone to appear with a robe to cover him but he strode away as he was, nude. Alone.

Thor left the club feeling far too shaken. At least he did manage to get up next to the stage that time. There was a chance that some of these photos would have what Sterling needed to make his case. Then Thor could go back to doing tech support and just forget all this had ever happened.


	9. Chapter 9

Thor opened the door, wincing at the squeak of the hinge and making a note to oil it before he left. It was the sort of thing his father always meant to do and forgot. There was music coming from the kitchen, loud enough that he could probably still surprise her. He tiptoed to the doorway.

"Thor, love!" cried his mother. She left the counter, dusting her hands off on her apron as she approached. Her hugs still felt as perfect as when he was a little boy, even though she couldn't wrap him in them like she used to.

"Hello, mum," he answered, hugging her back.

"We didn't expect you for another hour at least." She drew away, hands on his arms, to search his face. "Is everything all right?"

"Of course. I was ready, so I thought I'd catch the early train and help out a bit."

"Well, there's lots to do. Why don't you get started with the carrots? Your dad is still out on his walk. The doctor likes him to get an hour a day."

He set himself up next to her and they worked in a peaceable silence, only the snick-snick of the peeler and the soft thumps as she flipped the dough merging into the strings pouring from the radio.

Baldr and Nanna and Addie arrived, bringing with them their usual boisterous cheer, and a few minutes after that Addie shrieked, "Grandpa!"

"Hello, Princess!" he boomed back. "Look how big you're getting! I'm sure you weren't this big at your birthday party!"

Thor could hear her laughter rippling through the house and could picture the rest of it, the little girl who'd launched herself upwards and been caught in midair.

"He does love being a grandfather," his mother said fondly. She glanced over at him. "And none of that guilty look from you. There's plenty of kids who would _love_ to be adopted by two caring dads. But first things first."

He nodded. "I know, mum."

"So, are you seeing anyone?" She asked it as she turned away, rummaging through the potatoes. It was her way of helping make things smaller.

"I'm not sure," he said. He and Loki had done things, and he might end up doing more things before he got enough evidence. Did that count as seeing someone? Sharing bath and bed and breakfast seemed like it wasn't just sex stuff, but he had no basis for comparison. Maybe lots of one-time things went like that.

"Well, that's something. Do you want to be?"

He was just in this for the job and then it was over. No feelings. No, he didn't want to be seeing Loki. He had to, was all.

_You have no need to be jealous, Thor._

Shit.

"I don't know how I feel. Kind of mixed up."

"It's okay to go slowly and take as much time as you need. Don't rush yourself and don't let yourself be rushed. You deserve that." _I do almost entirely what the sub wants._ That had been true so far. Even when Thor had lied about what he wanted, Loki had tried to do the right thing...

No. The right thing was not to bring people up on a stage and tie them up and whip them. The right thing was not to put on whole shows of sadism, to make people suffer for the enjoyment of others. It was no matter that they volunteered for it, people shouldn't be able to volunteer for it and that was that.

"Thor?" His mum laid a hand on his arm.

"Yes. Right. Sorry. Thinking."

She gave him an understanding smile. "Good. Here, give these potatoes a scrub while you think."

"Need any help in here?" Baldr's head poked around the corner.

He had a way of interjecting himself at somewhat awkward times but right now Thor welcomed it. "More hands are always welcome."

The conversation turned general and they chattered happily about this and that until it was time to carry the trays out to the dining room and tuck in.

It wasn't until after hearty slices of tart, dripping with rich pear juice and crunchy with slices of almond, that the conversation went south, their father leaning back in his chair and reaching for his after-dinner coffee. "Have you seen the paper today? About that filth show in London?"

"Addie, why don't you go watch cartoons," Nanna said hastily.

Addie jumped from her chair and ran to the sitting room. They waited, not speaking, until they heard it turn on.

"It's disgusting, is what it is," he continued. "People doing those things to each other. We're lucky we've got someone like Sterling who's willing to take them on."

"Your father and I have somewhat different opinions on the matter," said their mother. "The article said that the people are all choosing to do it."

"Choosing sickness," their father interjected.

"But it is their choice."

He grunted. "What about you, Thor? You've been doing some work in Sterling's office, haven't you?"

Thor went tense. "I just deal with computer problems, dad," he answered, cautious.

"Can't imagine what that smut peddler's parents think. Why, if one of you boys-"

"Dad!" Baldr looked shocked.

"Perfectly reasonable question, about his parents. Having their son on the cover of the paper in that sort of getup."

"Just leave Thor and me out of it, yeah?"

Thor stood and started clearing the table. He'd just turned the corner into the kitchen when Baldr, never as quiet as he thought he was, was hissing at their father, "Didn't you see how you were making him blush?" Thor strained his ears but couldn't make out their father's reply.

"Sorry, son," Thor was told, awkwardly, when he went back for a second load.

Baldr was already collecting up more dishes and he followed Thor back to the kitchen. "Sorry. You looked bothered by that," he said, waving towards the door. "You are still waiting, right?"

Thor sighed. "I know this is you trying to be delicate, but-"

"Ox in a china shop," Baldr said, shaking his head ruefully. "I know. Nanna tells me all the time. It's only you looked so embarrassed and there's no reason to be. And, you know, I was happy I waited. Some things were more awkward, maybe, but it's also really nice, the two of you together figuring out together what you like."

"Fine. Yes. I'm still a virgin, okay?" _Smooth hot metal_ didn't count, even if it was someone else using it on him.

Baldr clapped him on the arm. "I'll get the glasses."

Thor turned on the cold tap and ran a wet hand over his face.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW art ahoy! The middle bits are from a photo by justanothertart. The rest you'll know.

The train ride home was very nearly unbearable. It was already too full when it arrived at his station, children clasped on laps where they didn't want to be, so many people standing he couldn't even sit on the floor. He carved himself a spot in the middle of the aisle, holding onto the back of a seat with one hand, his phone in the other. He would hardly have been in a fit state to read even were the conditions ideal, not after that conversation with his mother that made him think about things he didn't want to think about.

It was madness to think he might have feelings for Loki. Thor had done things with him in the name of a good cause, and those things had confused him, made him feel like it was something more than hormones and physical cravings. It was exactly why he had decided to wait. He needed to be able to think with the right head. The problems he was dealing with now simply proved that he'd been right all along. This was a worthwhile sacrifice, though. Whatever it took to get Loki's show stopped, to see him behind bars where he belonged... it would be worth it. The sickening fact that he had found momentary pleasure in it was of no account. If anything, it just went to prove he was right to help Sterling bring Loki down.

The train stopped at the next station and more families poured on, bodies pressing together tightly enough that he couldn’t even hold his phone out to read it. It went into his pocket and left him with nothing to do for the next hour but avoid eye contact and try to think about anything other than the perplexing muddle that he called his life.

That night Thor dreamt that the train delivered him, not to Euston, but to the door of the club hosting Talisman for the evening. He wasn't surprised to find himself there; in his dream-logic it made perfect sense that this would be the final stop on his line. He leaned against the glass, staring out through his ghostly reflection at the rundown warehouses beyond. Some were still functioning, their fluorescent lights casting a wan glow into the thick fog; more had been shut down and abandoned, shards of moonlight glinting on broken glass and half-revealing layers of graffiti below. A few of these buildings were finding new life as nightclubs, the location ideally suited for avoiding late-night noise complaints from the neighbors, but not many. Thor was the sole passenger and as he walked away from the station into a Victorian pea-souper of a night he could hear the engine shutting down behind him with a dying sigh.

Thor knew exactly how to find the club, the two blocks' walk through sodium-orange streets passing in an instant. No one was working the door and Thor walked into the huge open room, lit by a soft gold glow and the air heady with the clove scent of red roses. Dream-Loki was on the same throne as at the last show, but everything else was new. This time he wore some sort of armor, his shirt a supple black leather half-covered in bronze, equal parts protective plating and ornamental strips. It had been designed asymmetrically and Thor could just imagine him fighting in it, deadly blade in his hand and his body turned like a fencer's, the larger and heavier plates towards his opponent. But he wasn't fighting now. Black leather boots clung to his calves and both his shirt and his matching trousers were open. His cock stood proudly erect and Thor stared, riveted.

Thor shoved his way through the densely packed room, squirming himself between squirming bodies, people fucking, people masturbating, magically not tripping over the feet of people kneeling, faces buried between thighs, the very air thick with sex. He noticed none of it as he approached the stage, the audience melting away behind him until by the time he was at the front, chest pressed to the high wooden barrier, he alone was watching the performance.

On the stage they were putting on a show, dommes lashing subs into vague unnoticed contraptions and eliciting vaguely muted cries. Thor would have expected Loki to watch them, giving guidance and orders when necessary, but he entirely ignored it. Instead he sat on his throne and stared at Thor with eyes like wolves.

Thor woke in the morning with memories of a train ride and a dim room, and a thoroughly discomfited sensation in his throat.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness! In my prevacation flurry I forgot to post. :( Here comes a double! I promise I'll get to comments after I get some sleep.

Thor returned to Talisman a third time. A fourth. He got his photographs and didn't tell Sterling because he wanted to get better ones before he handed them over. A fifth, and with it another elaborate show.

Each time he crowded in to the volunteer area and each time Loki's gaze lingered on him before choosing someone else. The sixth time he went, Loki still didn't have him up on stage but at the end of the show he caught Thor's eye and nodded towards the back, his gesture nearly invisible.

Thor followed him and found him leaning against the wall, his head tilted back and one foot pressed against it. As Thor approached Loki rolled his head to the side to watch.

"Why are you here, Thor?" Loki asked tiredly.

It surprised him enough he couldn't think of a good lie. "I don't know."

Loki nodded. "Come on. You can eat dinner with me while you think."

Loki ate as though he hadn't seen food in a week. He watched Thor with glittering eyes and said nothing whatsoever, waiting.

"I just want to understand," Thor finally said between bites of cake. "Why do what you do? Why any of this?"

"It's a rush," Loki said. "To be trusted so completely, to have someone follow me into danger because they know I'll see them safely through."

"Danger?" Thor frowned. "Everything I read talks about being safe."

Loki shrugged. "Yeah, because in the wrong hands, this is dangerous. Piercings without proper sterilization, restraints that are too tight, even a simple spanking that's isn't placed properly can injure. There's lots of things that can go wrong, if the dominant doesn't know what they're doing. It's why it gets talked about so much. But what I really mean is what happens in here." He leaned forward and rapped his knuckles on Thor's skull. "What else on earth is half as dangerous as being completely vulnerable, mind, body, and soul? Giving yourself to another person so completely?"

"If it's such a rush, why are you so tired? You didn't seem this worn out last time."

"The curse of any stage performer. It doesn't matter how you feel, or if you had a bad day, when you step out there it has to be on. But that doesn't mean it isn't draining."

"I've never done anything like that."

"With those looks? That's a shame," Loki said, shaking his head. "What kind of work do you do?"

It was strange, how easily Loki's conversation could shift between _things_ and regular life. But then, for him this was all regular life, Thor supposed, and he really was easy to talk to when it wasn't about _that_. "I do tech support. It's a good opportunity for people who haven't been to university. If you work hard on your own learning stuff you can work your way up and do well for yourself. Eventually, anyway. I haven't made it to that point yet."

Loki's eyes lit up. "Really. Are you good at getting into computers?"

"Well, in theory I do more trying to prevent that, but in practice, it's mostly telling people to make sure everything's plugged in and to try rebooting."

"Where do you work?"

This lie came easily. All he had to do was pretend he was still at Seraphic. "I work for a contracting company. We get sent around, fill in when somewhere needs a temp. Like when they have a gap between permanent people, that sort of thing."

"Businesses?"

"Businesses, schools. Offices."

"Government offices?"

"Sometimes."

"If you get put at the House of Commons..." Loki leaned forwards. "Thor, you must have seen in the news all the rumors that Sterling is working on a case against me. I know you're still unsure about what I do, but you've also seen how hard I work to make sure everything is consensual. We all do here. If you could find out anything, anything at all, it could really help me." His eyes looked hollow now. "Can I trust you?"

Thor swallowed. "I'll see what I can do. If I get put there."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Why did you bring me back here? Why tonight?" Thor asked abruptly.

"Remember last time, when I told you I don't get to do aftercare very often? Sometimes it gets to me. The absence of it."

"So you want to give me a bath again?"

"I felt like not being alone. Sometimes my bed is cold."

"You brought me back to warm your bed?"

"You feel so nice in it."

That was the moment when it struck Thor: Loki's existence, despite all these people around him, was terribly solitary. The slaves were here for his shows, the other dominants because they worked with him to care for the slaves and assist with the performances. Neither were suitable for inviting into his bed when he felt hollow inside. He had no one to curl up against, no one to hold, no one to hold him when that was what he wanted.


	12. Chapter 12

The club had been hot that night, and Loki wanted to shower and get the sweat out of his hair before they went to bed. That was what he said, anyway. What he did was stand beneath the cool spray, head tilted back and eyes blissfully closed while Thor worked a palmful of shampoo through the heavy locks. Thor was never much good at identifying scents but he could tell that it smelled expensive and seductive. Even with his arms being so long the two of them were close and Thor felt it in every tingling pore. It was not his fault that he was attracted, he told himself firmly. Loki was an attractive man and Thor's brain might know he was bad, but Thor's body couldn't be blamed for its reaction. 

"I've never washed someone else's hair before. I hope I don't pull too hard or something," Thor said, mostly to distract himself. He filled his hand with conditioner and massaged it through Loki's hair as he spoke. 

"Mmm. Not at all. You're a natural at this," Loki murmured. His voice was low and intimate and not helpful in the slightest. 

"Good to know I have a career fallback. In case computers go obsolete." 

Loki's eyes opened into feline slits and his rumble of laughter spilled over Thor's skin, washing away whatever hope he'd clung to for willing his erection back into softness. 

Loki glanced down at it, dark lashes dusting across his cheeks, and smiled. A wave of heat crackled over Thor's face. 

"Don't blush, Thor. There's nothing for you to ashamed of." 

"You didn't get one," Thor pointed out. 

Loki shrugged. "This is sensual for me, certainly, but more relaxing than erotic. But it's okay if it is for you. You enjoy serving me and there's nothing wrong with that." His hand was cool from the water and it felt like a balm against Thor's burning cheek. "Nothing we do is wrong as long as we both want it." 

"How do you... I don't know. How are you so comfortable with everything? How did you get to be like that?" The second the words were out he regretted them. 

This time Loki's laugh was bitter enough Thor felt a pang of guilt for bringing it up. "It wasn’t easy. Trust me." 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" 

"It's okay," Loki cut in. "Would you like the water?" 

"Yeah. Thanks." 

Thor was grateful for the giant tub that made it easy to trade places without touching beyond the brush of arm against arm. He stood under the shower long after he was done, simply letting it pour over him while he thought. Anytime he broached something personal, something emotional, Loki pulled away, either like now, when he left the shower so abruptly, or shifting their conversation into something sexual. It seemed strange to be so open with the body and yet so closed with the heart. 

When he got out Loki was standing dripping on the mat. "I thought you might like to dry me," he said. The way he said it Thor could almost have thought it was a peace offering for interrupting him. 

Thor smiled and picked up a towel. "I would." 

He determinedly ignored the erection bouncing around as he slowly circled Loki's still form, meditatively rubbing the towel over his creamy skin until a rosy blush sprang up. Out of nowhere he remembered talking to Baldr, not long after Addie was born. _There’s something nice about taking care of someone. I don’t think I can describe it,_ he’d said. Just like it was nice taking care of Loki now. Too nice. Maybe when this whole thing was over he should get a dog. 

Loki had a special towel for his hair that got it almost dry and then he drew it back into a rough braid before opening the bathroom door and letting the steam spill out into the bedroom. The bedclothes had been turned back while they were in the shower. Today the sheets were a deep sapphire shade and when Loki slipped between them he almost seemed to glow. Thor followed, pulling them up quickly to cover his body. 

Thor waited for the light to go out before he tried again. Another try at getting Loki to give... _something._. Perhaps it was easier in the dark. Sometimes it was easier to admit things in the dark. 

"You asked me why I'm here, but I think that's more a question for you, isn't it? I mean, I just go to the club. You're the one who brought me back here." 

"Maybe I just want to understand, too. You keep showing up and I can't figure out why. I mean, you liked some of what we did, but if you just want something up your ass there must be thousands of men in London willing to do that for you. Hundreds of women at least, too. So what is it you want from me?" 

"I don't... I don't want to be a slave. I don't want to be someone who just serves." That was a good answer. The more he could tell the truth, the less he had to remember. 

Loki sat up. The blankets lifted with him and sent a gust of chilly air down against Thor's chest. "I was wrong. When we were on stage, I was wrong. I'm sorry." 

"You weren't!" Thor protested. His mind darted back to the feel of the flail coming down on his skin, the raw hunger of the crowd to watch him take it. Their lust for his pain was worse than the pain itself. He only realized it now, as he was speaking. "I didn't want it, not like that, on display for everyone." Just picturing their faces was enough to unsettle him and when a gentle hand found his face in the darkness he nestled into it. 

"Of course. You're shy," Loki said softly. 

"I'm not shy. It's just... some things ought to be private. For me, anyway." 

"That's okay. However you feel is okay." 

"I think I need to go to sleep," Thor said. He knew it was abrupt but the abrupt realization had overwhelmed him and left him drained. 

"That's fine." Loki lay back down and the blankets came with him. He tucked them snugly around Thor's neck to keep him warm. "Goodnight, Thor. Sweet dreams." 


	13. Chapter 13

It was late when they woke, but the heavy curtains kept the bedroom in a hushed half-darkness.

"You want to try something easy?"

"Easy. Yeah."

Loki lost himself in thought, his eyes wandering aimlessly along the rafters until he looked back to Thor with decision. "I know what I want to do. Breakfast first, though. I can't have you getting lightheaded."

Thor desperately didn’t want to wait; he wanted to do it right now, to get it over with before he had too much time to think about it. He opened his mouth to argue and closed it again, saying nothing.

"Do you remember where the robes are kept?"

Thor nodded and peeled himself slowly from the warm bed. He put one on and turned to give Loki another. He would have liked Loki to put it on more slowly. They walked together to the dining area and this time when Loki bestowed his attentions on the slaves they passed Thor somehow didn't mind.

 

 

"Something light to eat," Loki said to the air and within minutes there were noises coming from the kitchen. No one knelt at Loki's side today and Thor wondered if that had been done for him.

How Thor swallowed his food he didn't know. He finished his last cup of tea well after Loki had finished his own and they returned to the bedroom.

"I assume you'd prefer to make do in here rather than be out in the playroom?" Loki asked.

"Yes. Thank you."

"I'll have to kick them all out some time and we'll have the whole place just to ourselves. I have so many things I want to do. I can just picture you on the rack, your muscles all tensed up...”

Really, just thinking about it was enough to do that. “The rack? Like in the Middle Ages?”

“Mmm,” Loki purred. “When used properly, the sensation is indescribable. But that’s for another day.”

“You said easy for today?” Thor asked nervously.

"I did. And I think this will be easier for you with a blindfold," Loki said gently.

Thor swallowed and nodded his acceptance. Loki tied a slender piece of black silk about his eyes and then there was nothing but touch and sounds and scent. Loki guided his hands above his head and more silk wrapped around them, first individually, then together. He gave an experimental tug and found himself trapped. He could still smell faint traces of bath oil on his skin, now that his arms were so near his face. He breathed deeply, forcing himself to remember the comfort and peace of warm water and sweet caresses as his ankles were bound to the wall.

"This will hurt a bit," Loki warned.

"I'm ready."

"You remember your safeword?"

"Mercury."

His cheek was kissed and then something cold and hard was fixed to his left nipple, just tight enough to pinch. The right one followed. Thor's sigh of relief turned into a choked whimper when they were tightened until the metal was biting into him. Then Loki was kissing his cheek and making soothing noises and petting him and he reminded himself why he was here.

Gentle hands caressed his cock, stroking him to fullness, nimble fingers teasing over the delicate folds beneath the head. A pleading sound escaped his throat and Loki laughed softly. "You're doing a good job so far," he said as he let go.

Thor took a deep breath, trying to fill his lungs enough to steady himself, and it was working until a crinkling noise alarmed him. "Is that a condom?" he asked anxiously.

"It's okay," Loki soothed. "It's to go on a toy. I told you, I'm not going to fuck you until you ask me."

He was about to ask what it was when Loki's fingers were on his lower lip, tugging his mouth open. "Okay, close. Hold it. Trust me, you'll be sorry if you let go."

"Mmm?" Thor asked around the cord hanging from between his teeth.

"It's how you're going to hold this in place." A faint click was followed by a strikingly loud buzzing and then it was against his cock, vibrating. It felt good and maddeningly insufficient. He gritted his teeth and ordered himself to hold still. It didn't work.

He thought about how he must look. Bound, blindfolded, chains hanging from his chest and most shameful of all, the way he couldn't completely stop his hips from moving, chasing after the vibrator that seemed to swing away every time he thought he'd gotten it right. Not as bad as his first night here, when he'd rutted against the sheets, but bad enough. If only he could make his body quit responding he wouldn't have been quite so ashamed of himself.

_Don't, don't,_ he told himself, over and over. _Don't, don't, don't._ A trickle of sweat ran down his side.

"Let go, Thor," Loki said. "If only you could see how lovely you are like this, you wouldn't fight it."

A hand curled around his neck, gentle and possessive, and it felt like it belonged there. Thor whimpered a last desperate protest and gave in.

It felt _good_ but no matter how he chased after it with his hips he couldn't get the stimulation he needed. He was getting close but no matter how he tried he couldn't quite get there. Oh, how he wanted it, wanted more, wanted that incessant teasing to solidify just for a few seconds, just long enough to push him over the peak. "Ah, ah," he gasped, frustrated, and again Loki was there.

"You're alright, Thor, you're alright," he was murmuring. "There's no rush, it's okay to let yourself enjoy it. Dancing on the edge can be a pleasure all its own, if you'll allow it to be."

Thor was not entirely convinced but it was enough for him to keep going instead of using his word, blood and breath racing as he strained, closer, closer, until just as the tension was growing unbearable it snapped and his whole body sang with the merciful release. Bursts of energy darted across his skin and filled his vision with silver stars and for a brief and radiant moment everything was perfect. Everything.


	14. Chapter 14

"You fought so hard," Loki said, smoothing back Thor's sweaty hair.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"It's alright. Next time we'll find something that works better for you. When I unlock your arms, let me take their weight."

Thor nodded and then Loki's cool hands were at his wrists, loosening the bonds and taking a firm hold with one hand, rubbing the muscles in his arms as he lowered them.

"Blindfold?" Thor asked.

The smile was clear in Loki's voice when he answered. "I'm going to leave it on a while longer. Keep you in your little cocoon."

"Okay."

Thor let himself be guided by a hand on his back, gentle pressure, until he was beside the bed and Loki was pressing him down. He lay back and a soft cloth cleaned his stomach and then the bed dipped as Loki climbed in beside him. "Do you want anything from the kitchen?"

"No, thank you. I just want this," Thor said, curling against him as Loki's arm came up across his waist. Thor sighed contentedly and Loki pressed his lips to Thor's hair. He was grateful for the blindfold now. He wasn't sure how he could have looked Loki in the eye after he'd just watched Thor behaving the way he had. He was right, Thor had fought it, determined not to relinquish his self-control without a battle. If only it weren't all so confusing. If only he could just get a grip on his thoughts he'd know how to handle everything, but whenever he tried to think objectively about Loki his heart started racing and his skin got flushed and his brain started whirling in all directions.

"Can we talk about what made that hard for you, so that next time will be better?"

"I don't know," Thor lied. He should have come up with a better one. Loki, far too perceptive, saw through it easily.

"Don't know, or don't want to say?"

When Thor didn't answer, Loki began to stroke his arm with gentle affection. "It's important for me to check in with you, even when it's hard to talk about."

Thor remained silent and Loki pressed another kiss to his hair. It felt soft and loving and that feeling was by far the most dangerous thing of all. A pleading noise escaped his throat and Loki kissed him again.

"Alright. We'll take things one at a time. Were the restraints okay?"

He nodded.

"The blindfold?"

The only thing that had made him, at last, able to let go. If it weren't for that he'd probably still be tied there, still fighting. "That was good."

"The clamps?"

Those had hurt, but that hadn't been what had bothered him. "They were fine."

"The vibrator, then? You didn't like it?"

Even that hadn't been the problem, not really. He shook his head. "I don't know how to make myself let go," he admitted.

"Poor thing. You need to be wholly broken, don't you," Loki said, and it wasn't a question.

Thor didn't trust himself to think about that.

*

Thor woke in the night and lay staring blindly upwards, his mind an incessant and unforgiving whirl. After far too long awake he slipped out of bed and felt his way to the closet for a robe.

He was briefly startled to find someone already in the kitchen despite the late hour. A slave, just starting the kettle. "Hi," he said.

She jumped and laughed at herself. "Hi. Can't sleep?"

"I've been awake forever," he sighed. "I hoped maybe a hot drink. I’m Thor, by the way."

"Penny. There's plenty of water in here," she said, nodding at the kettle. "Teas are up in the top cupboard, there's a few herbal ones."

He rummaged through and picked one out. She’d set out another cup for him and poured the water as he chose. “Can I ask you something?” he asked her as they waited for the drinks to steep.

“Sure.”

“Can I ask… why all this? Why do this?”

“Ah. That. Well, I guess for me it’s that… I tried to deny it to myself for a long time, tried to pretend I didn’t want the things I wanted. Everyone says it’s sick, right? And then I met my mistress, and everything I was ashamed of myself for wanting, she accepted it. Accepted me exactly how I was. And now I serve her and it’s the most fulfilling thing I could ever imagine in life. I live to make her happy and it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.” She spoke simply, joy making her scratchy voice sweet.

“Is that really enough to live for?”

She shrugged. “It is for me, but not for everyone. Not for all subs. That’s why everybody has to figure out the dynamic that works for them. If you’ll excuse me, I think these are ready. I should be getting back.”

“Yes, of course. Thank you.”

She gave him a smile as she picked up two cups and was gone. Thor took his own to sit at the table in the alcove. He drank in silence, pondering how skillfully Loki had yet again evaded his questions.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW art! Throw a blanket over the birb cage!

"I should get going," Thor said when they woke.

"Oh. Okay." That couldn't have been disappointment in his voice. Thor was just overthinking.

"It's just that I always have Sunday dinner with my family."

Loki smiled. "That sounds nice."

"It is. My niece is growing up so fast, it's amazing to watch."

"The one who loves penguins?"

"Yeah," Thor answered, surprised that Loki had remembered.

"Well, thanks. I had a good time last night."

"Me, too," Thor said. "And, um, thank you for not... you know."

Loki raised an elegant brow.

"For not fucking me."

"You said you were waiting. I admit I don't get it, but..." he shrugged. "You should do what you want. It's your body."

"Yeah."

"You know what I like?" Loki asked abruptly.

"What?"

"You're not like... well, back home in the states, at least, you hear about all the abstinence-only people going into schools and lecturing kids about how people who have sex without marriage are like gum that's already been chewed, or a used tissue, or something disgusting like that. But you don't act that way."

Thor frowned in thought. "It's not like I think it's wrong for everybody, or that it's bad. I'm just choosing what I think is right for me."

"Live and let live."

"Basically."

"You know, Thor, the world could do with a few more people like you."

Thor told himself he didn't feel guilty. It didn't work. It got worse when he stood up and Loki interrupted him as he was hunting for his clothes.

"Wait, don't get dressed yet. I got you a present," Loki told him.

"You did?" It had been ages since Thor had gotten a gift that wasn't for his birthday or Christmas and it made him far happier than he would have expected.

Loki leaned over and pulled a box out from underneath the bed. "I'd rather surprise you but I think you'll have to do most of it yourself."

He handed it to Thor and Thor opened it. He blinked and they were still there. "Latex briefs?"

"With an extra surprise." Loki unfolded them and showed Thor the odd appendage. If only it were on the front, he'd have thought it a sleeve for his cock. He looked up and Loki grinned at him. "You know where it goes."

"Oh."

"Have you ever worn latex before?"

Thor shook his head and Loki nodded. "That's okay. You want to lube yourself and them before you start. Otherwise it'll just rip all your hair out and not be any fun at all."

"They're fun otherwise?"

That earned him another grin and a dramatic popping of the lube top. Thor hadn't even noticed him pick it up. Thor took it and filled his palm. Loki leaned back, still grinning, ready to enjoy the show. Thor covered his legs and hips, the lube not half so heavy on his skin as were Loki's eyes. Loki's smile widened as Thor squeezed another dollop onto the tips of his fingers.

There had to be some less ungraceful way of slipping his fingers into himself. Loki seemed to be enjoying the sight of it, though, so perhaps he wasn't being quite as ungainly as he felt. He did it twice more, not certain how much would be enough.

It felt peculiar to put on a garment that was so slippery inside, but it pulled up smoothly over his legs, stretching across his skin as he got to his thighs. The sheath was floppy and he could have put his finger inside it to get it into place but then he'd only have one hand to get the briefs up over his hips. "Um... how do I?" he asked.

"Oh, I'd be happy to help," Loki purred. He sat up and fit his fingers – two, even though one would have worked – into the sheath. "Ready."

Thor pulled slowly, drawing the tight material over his hips. He gasped audibly as Loki's fingers breached him but otherwise did his best to ignore the strange penetration. Loki left them there as Thor reached down the front to adjust his cock into what would have to pass for a comfortable position.

"I got you another present, too," Loki told him, holding up a metal thing that looked like a large bullet.

"Oh. It's..."

Loki's eyes sparkled."Turn around."

He definitely felt fuller with it inside him, but beyond that, he wasn't entirely certain of the purpose. Oh, he'd read plenty about butt plugs when he was starting this whole mess, but he hadn't quite figured out what it was people liked about them. He wiggled a little, getting used to the sensation before he had to go out in public. Okay, that was... nice. He could get used to that.

"Now I just need you to put something on your phone." Loki held out a box. "Look up that name in the app store, would you?" In case this whole thing hadn't already been strange enough.

Thor found the app and installed it. "Is there something that says sync?" Loki asked, standing up to peer over Thor's shoulder.

"Yeah." Suddenly this was making more sense. He would have figured it out soon enough, anyway.

"Oh, good, it works," Loki said when Thor jumped.


	16. Chapter 16

A few days away gave Thor some much-needed perspective. He knew why he'd been getting all confused and enjoying things that he shouldn't enjoy. He'd read all about subspace and hormones and endorphins and knew those were what had been messing up his head. Now, away from all that, he could see clearly again. What he'd been doing was perverse, and the fact that he had found pleasure in it only made it all the more dangerous. People needed to be protected from things like that and it was his job to protect them. Like taking cigarettes away from a smoker, it was for their own good, even if they didn't care. Even if he'd become one of them. 

He saved all the photos from his computer to dropbox and shared it with Sterling, and like that, in the click of a mouse, it was time to start building the case. Sterling managed to get an appointment with a solictor for the following day and told him to look smart.

He was halfway to the office the next morning when he realized that he'd left his newest camera at home. It had the clearest pictures, better by far than the ones he'd already given to Sterling, but there wasn't time to go back. Those others would be good enough, he decided, and it was either that or arrive terribly late. The appointment with the solicitor was at ten and he couldn't risk it.

He'd worn his suit, an inexpensive one but it was better than he had expected for the price. Sterling seemed to approve. "You look good, lad. Respectable," he said, clapping Thor on the arm.

The solicitor approved as well. "The jury always likes listening to a handsome face," she said.

"I worked hard," Thor pointed out.

"Of course you did. She didn't mean to imply you hadn't," Sterling answered.

The solicitor, Ms Baines, gave a crisp nod. "So, Mr Odinson, Mr Sterling has provided me with the photographs you were able to gather. I must say, when he discussed the case with me over the phone, I had expected the images to be rather sharper. In conjunction with your testimony I expect they'll suffice, but they're far from ideal. I don't suppose you've managed to collect anything better since those were taken?"

There. That was when he could have said _Why yes, I do have more, I can send them to you this evening._ But that would have meant acknowledging his forgetfulness and the way Sterling was staring at him was already making him squirm. "I'm sorry. That's everything."

"Well, as I said, they should suffice. You got some close-ups of the participants as they waited to go on stage, and we were able to find the identities of three of them with online images searches, so I think that's everything we need. Names of both parties to the... acts portrayed, and your testimony as to what, exactly, we are witnessing in the stage photographs. If you are ready to go to court, Mr Sterling, I would recommend engaging the services of a barrister and moving forwards."

"Excellent. I will leave it in your capable hands, then, shall I?"

Her smile was professional. "My assistant will keep you updated."

 

Thursday dawned gray and dreary. When he was young his mother used to tell him that it was his name day and so he should be happy. When he had outgrown that, she pointed out that his day was followed by hers and that was the beginning of the weekend. That had carried him into adulthood, all the way up until the start of this job. But weekends didn't matter now. Thursday had no special value beyond its potential to be a pleasant day, and this was not. It was just a rainy day and he was at his computer at work trying to look like he was occupied with something other than his thoughts.

When his phone vibrated he ignored it until it went off twice more in short order.

_Hi_

_It's a rainy day_

_It made me think of you_

Thor stared at it in his hand a long time before replying.  

_Hi. I've been thinking of you too_

_Are you busy?_

Thor looked around. Sterling was at his desk, but so intent on his work that Thor could have thrown spitballs at him unnoticed. _Not really. You want to text a while?_

_No_

That was followed a moment later by a second text. _Come over_

There was no real need to go. He'd already gotten photos good enough to serve as evidence, and even if he needed more, this wouldn't be the time to get them. This time would be... something else. Something he was disgusted with himself for wanting. The weakness was like a flaw in a gemstone, invisible until it was turned to where it caught the light and showed that it was worthless. But he wasn't a ruby or a sapphire, he was a man. His weaknesses could be cut away, if only he faced them. All he had to do was face them.

_Okay_

He got up and put on his coat. His umbrella, still wet from the morning, was waiting in a basket by the office door. "I think I might have a chance at more photos, sir, better ones," he told Sterling, holding up his phone. "I'm not sure when I'll be back."

"Excellent work, lad. Keep track of your hours and report them to Miss Flynde whenever you're able. Don't make me send out the hounds."

"No, sir. I won't."


	17. Chapter 17

The windows were high on the walls, well suited to the former and current uses of the space, and so grimy the sky could be only half seen. Loki was trying when Thor got there, all the same. He was reclining on a chaise longue, gazing dully upwards. Beside him a rattly speaker played the Jackson Five. Thor sank to the floor beside him and leaned back, head resting on Loki's leg. The wind blew noisy bursts of rain against the glass while young Michael explained to them that love was easy as ABC.

The song ended and began again.

When it started for the fifth consecutive time Thor turned it off. "If you hate rain this much, London isn't really the best place for you."

At least that made Loki smile. From beside him he tugged free a thick envelope he'd been leaning against. He handed it to Thor without a word.

"It's not opened."

"That's okay. Go ahead."

Thor tore it open, making a jagged slit of the top fold. Inside were photographs: Loki, young, probably no more than a teenager. He wore blue jeans and an array of tee shirts, blazoned with half-forgotten bands, comics, phrases from tv shows. They made Thor feel sad somehow. Even with his age he looked wrong in them, unsettlingly so.

"From my mother. She sends me these packets every so often. She keeps hoping they'll make me go back to being..." He sighed and waved at the stack in Thor's hand.

"Your hair looks like birds' wings in these. Clipped." Thor looked up at him. "Rubbish bin?"

Loki nodded.

He did seem a modicum more cheerful when Thor returned.

"Was that why you wanted me to come over?" Thor asked.

"I felt like having company."

Thor felt a twist of guilt. He knew he'd done the right thing in helping to send Loki to jail, but to be here and acting almost like a friend while only two days before he'd been agreeing to testify against him... it made him want a shower. And yet here he was, come running when Loki called, unable to resist the lure of the things they did together.

"Your slaves are devoted to you," Thor said. It didn't quite address Loki's desire for company but he didn't know what else to say instead.

Loki shrugged. "They need to be devoted and I'm here. Their real devotion is for their own dominants."

"I think you're wrong. It's more than that."

"Mmm. It's not the same, though."

"That sounds lonely."

Loki smiled unhappily. "Did you know I have a brother?"

"I didn't."

"I think that was the worst of it, getting cut off from my family. It wasn't that I was effectively being made an orphan. It was being made an only child."

Thor thought about how he'd feel if Baldr quit talking to him, the bleeding hole it would leave in his chest. "I can't replace your brother."

"I don't want you to. Just... I miss some things. The easy companionship."

"Someone you can text and invite over on a whim."

That made Loki's smile grow warm. "Exactly."

"I'm lucky to have been able to come out when I did. I don't think my parents really even mind me being gay, now that we can get married."

"But this is something else altogether."

"Yeah. It is."

Something – the patter of rain on the windows, perhaps, or Loki's own sadness – made Thor turn and kiss Loki's hand where it had been playing in Thor's hair.

Loki rose, the glide of leather against the velvet upholstery seductive. He held out his hand. "Come on. It's time."

"I don't... I don't want to be a slave."

"I know. And you don't have to be. How about a pet? I've never had a pet."

"Yes," Thor said. 'Pet' didn't sound so bad. "Okay." One time. That was all.

He took Loki's hand and stood and together they went to the storeroom.

Thor had caught glimpses through the open door, but this was his first time inside. One long wall was covered with pegboard holding what he was fairly certain was every sex toy he'd ever seen during his research, several of them in new and twisted variations, and other things he couldn't even imagine their use.

"If you have any particular requests, now's the time to say."

Thor swallowed. "I'll go with whatever you recommend."

Loki slid his hand up the back of Thor's neck and curled his fingers in Thor's hair to pull him close for a bruising kiss. "I'm going to make you very happy you said that."


	18. Chapter 18

Loki walked back and forth along the wall, his eyes thoughtful, lingering on this or that before moving on. By the time he took something down Thor was almost sweating.

"Hold this for me, would you?" Loki asked.

Thor took it from him and examined it curiously. Two curved pieces of wood, almost like a split boomerang, with wing nuts at the ends. It was followed by two metal contraptions held together by a chain. Clearly, his nipples were to go into the openings. He remembered the wash of pain when Loki had taken the clamps off him before and he swallowed hard. After that he kept his eyes fixed on Loki rather than on what he held.

"That'll do," Loki said, setting one last thing onto the top of the pile.

They went to the bed and Loki nodded for Thor to set down his armload on the dresser. His breathing had gotten hard, racing and jumpy. Loki stepped forwards and kissed him and they were halfway through it before he realized it was the first time they had kissed like this. Loki's lips were so warm against his own and his tongue slipped so easily into Thor's mouth, strawberry-sweet.

"These walls are our diving bell. If we get too deep, you'll tell me and we'll go back up. I won't let you drown. Understand?"

"Yes," Thor answered, his voice barely audible.

Loki's voice was almost heartbreakingly gentle as he continued. "But this won't be easy. I know you, and I know you're going to fight me, trying to hold on. So if you want me to make you let go, you have to tell me."

He hadn't, until this moment, understood what it meant to ask. He wanted Loki to decide for them both. He wanted to have no input because having a say meant giving voice to his desires and that was the hardest thing of all. 

"You may nod," Loki said softly. Such strange compassion but now Thor had seen how it burned within him. He nodded and Loki kissed his cheek. "I'm going to begin spanking you with my hand to warm you up, first over your clothes and then on bare skin. The paddle will come later. I'm going to use the one with holes, which is harder to bear, but I think you will find it easier."

It made no sense, and Thor understood perfectly. He nodded again.

"I'm going to describe everything before I do it, and if you don't want it, I want you to tell me. If you need to stop, your word is _mercury_. Saying it ends everything immediately. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Very good." Loki sat down on the bed, leaning against the headboard. He caught Thor's gaze before looking pointedly at his lap. Thor swallowed and lay across it, careful not to put too much of his weight on Loki's legs.

 _Warming up_ was right. Thor was still fully dressed and the first few strokes of Loki's hand were enough to have his skin getting hot all over, like he'd had one too many beers. He shifted uncomfortably and Loki's free hand pressed between his shoulder blades, warning him to remain still. It was a relief when he was allowed up to undress. It was not a relief to lie back down in the same place while naked.

"There's no need to blush. I'm pleased that you're aroused," Loki told him. His voice was rich with approval.

It made Thor feel warm inside, too, and he struggled against himself. He knew he was going to break but that was no excuse to make it easy. Really, the more he wanted it the more he had to fight against the strain of perversion inside himself. That was the real enemy and he wouldn't let it win without a fight. He would have been better off if he'd never met Loki, never met this world, but now he was here and yes, he couldn't stop himself coming back, but if only he managed to hold out a little longer each time he should at last be able to purge the desire.

Being spanked on his bare skin stung without really hurting. It would be the perfect thing to ease him into it if only he weren't careful about keeping up his guard. He stared at the sheets and told himself he was not affected.

"That's good," Loki said, running his hand over Thor's heated rear. "You turn the perfect shade of pink, you know that? Hop up."

Thor rose to his hands and knees and crawled off, sitting on the side of the bed to watch as Loki stood.

"Good boy. So obedient for me." Loki grinned and walked over to look through the things from the storeroom. "Clamps first, I think," he mused. "You liked those before. These hurt more than the others, but they feel better, too."

"No blindfold?"

"No blindfold. I want to watch you."

Thor nodded.

These nipple clamps were far more painful than the other ones had been, making him grit his teeth as they were tightened. When Loki rubbed his palms over them, though, the arousal that shot through him was undeniable.

"Now I'm going to bind you. Hands behind your back," Loki ordered. He picked up a pair of leather handcuffs that looked thick and stiff and fastened Thor's wrists. "How do they feel?"

Thor wiggled his hands. "They're fine. They're a lot softer than they look."

"Stiffer ones can be fun as well, but I don't want them distracting you. Now spread your feet for me. Wider, they need to fit to this," he said, holding up the metal bar. Thor took another step apart and Loki nodded his satisfaction. He even knelt elegantly, Thor thought, watching him sink to his knees to attach Thor's ankles to the leather cuffs at the ends.

Loki clipped a thin chain to the one hanging between Thor's nipples, the added weight making the clamps tighten and bite. Loki rubbed his palm across the head of Thor's cock, spreading out the thick drop that had suddenly appeared there. "Mmm, I knew you'd like that. Bend over for me." Thor leaned forwards obediently, groaning at the spark of pained arousal that shot through him as the angle of the clamps shifted. He held still as Loki wrapped the other end of the chain around the bar and fastened it to itself.

"I have one more thing for you to wear. This is called a humbler," Loki said, straightening and picking up the curved wooden device. He stuck his finger through the space in the middle and wiggled it. "Guess what goes here?"

Thor craned his neck to look up. "I think I'd rather not."

It earned him a delighted laugh as Loki circled behind him and reached between his legs to take hold of his balls. "This will provide you will a little more incentive to hold your position. In case you need it."

Thor closed his eyes as he felt the cool wood beneath the tender skin of his sack, the other piece coming down above it a moment later. Loki was being careful, making sure nothing was being pinched as he tightened them. It didn't hurt, exactly, so much as give a dull ache that warned of far worse if he tried to straighten his back. It was well named; the position made him feel vulnerable, almost completely helpless. Whatever happened now would be entirely at Loki's mercy.

What he needed was to focus, to concentrate on something else that he could hold onto while Loki did what he did. Breath was always good. A previous employer had brought in someone to do a mindfulness seminar to reduce stress in the workplace and most of it he'd forgotten immediately but the breathing he remembered. In for eight, hold for four, out for twelve. In for eight, hold for four, out for-

Loki's voice interrupted his thoughts. "You're thinking too much. Count," he ordered, and the paddle came down and for a flash everything went white. The pain was different than when he'd been on stage, duller and achier than the sharp bite of the crop. He instinctively jerked away which sent another shock of pain through him as the clamps bit deeper into his nipples and the humbler kept his balls from moving with him.

"One," he gasped. Leaning forwards, back into position, eased the sickening ache in his insides. It did nothing to ease the pain in his nipples, which deepened again when he jerked helplessly away from the second stroke. "Two."

Thor got to seven before a ragged sound tore from his throat. He clenched his jaw and braced himself for more. He started crying at eleven, the tears spilling down his cheeks as he stammered out the number. The bottom of his arse was a blaze of pain and each stroke of the paddle was making it burn hotter.

"You're being so good," Loki soothed. "You are taking this so beautifully, so gracefully. You're making me very proud, Thor. Just breathe and hold on."

Thor nodded his head desperately.

"I think you can do this, but if you need to stop, say your word and it's over," Loki reminded him.

He was so close now, so near to being pushed past the point of fighting and into complete submission. It was sickness to crave it but he did, he couldn't help himself wanting it. "Don't stop."

Twelve. It hurt so much it became a blur, his head getting light. He gritted his teeth to silence himself.

He broke at fifteen, sobbing and gasping for air as he choked out the number. Loki continued without pausing. It seemed impossible that each one could hurt more than the last, but they did, the paddle landing over and over on bruised and screaming skin.

Eighteen, nineteen. It was almost meditative, in a way. He didn't want to use his word and so he had no choice but to accept it and that awareness made it easier to bear. The tears were still pouring down his cheeks but he was growing quiet again. He was warm and tingling and light and Loki had given that to him and if they could only get carry on forever he thought he could be content.

Loki stopped at twenty-two, which seemed like a peculiar number to have chosen but when Thor mumbled a complaint Loki just petted his hair and told him he was good.

Now we just have one last thing."

That much Thor could see. It was a black glass plug, perhaps half the size of his hand. "Okay," he agreed. His head felt swimmy and his whole body felt like it was hanging three inches off the floor and whatever else Loki wanted to do to him was perfect. He didn't even jump when the tip, covered in cold lube, began to press against his entrance. It went slowly, in and out, just a tiny bit deeper each time, far slower than he needed, until it was inside.

"You doing okay?"

Thor hummed. So much easier than talking.

"Okay," Loki said, patting his arm.

He moaned when Loki started twisting it, drawing little circles. It felt good to be full and each shift inside him made it even better. He rocked his hips as much as the humbler would allow, drinking in the way it felt as it rubbed inside him. Oh, so big, so full, and Loki was telling him how good he was...

Loki's hand was warm and slippery and Thor moved into it as it wrapped around his cock. "There we go, that's right. Good boy," he murmured. "So good. Oh, you won't need much at all."

"Loki. Loki," Thor gasped.

"I know. Go ahead. Let go."

Thor moved with him as much as he could, the tight glide on his shaft and the shifting of the solid plug and even the ache from the humbler all working together, taking him higher, higher, until he was spilling and moaning. His whole body shook with the intensity of it, the waves of pleasure crashing over him and his vision filling with stars and Loki telling him how beautiful he looked.

He felt exhausted when it was over, drained in a way that was far beyond the physical. Loki released his hands first, letting him rest against the bed as the plug was slipped free and the humbler unscrewed and removed. He whimpered as the first nipple clamp was removed and sent a jolt of pain shocking through him. Loki put a gentle hand on his arm, soothing him as the second one came off. The ankle cuffs were swiftly released and then Loki was helping him onto the bed, lowering him far more slowly than he could have possibly lowered himself. He settled on his side, knees drawn up comfortably, and Loki lay down facing him.

"You know I need to check in with you now," Loki prompted.

Thor nodded, looking down.

"Are you feeling shy again?"

"I don't know." Loki's skin was lightly freckled and Thor reached out, playing connect the dots on his side.

Thor could hear the smile in Loki's voice as he continued. "Was everything I did okay?"

Thor nodded again. "Yeah."

"Was everything I did _good_?"

"I don't know," Thor said with a shrug. "Not at first, I guess, but then it got that way later."

"Tell me why you said no when I told you to breathe? It was clear you still were, or I'd have had to stop everything."

"It wasn't that," Thor answered. His head was so light what was supposed to be a chuckle felt more like a giggle. "It was what else you said. I've never felt less graceful in my life, and I know what I look like when I cry. It's not a pretty sight."

"Oh, but it _is_ , and you were. The way you accepted everything so completely... it was radiant."

"Even how my face swells up and turns red?"

" _Especially_ how your face swells up and turns red. I mean it, you were lovely. No arguing."

"Okay," Thor agreed. The hand that had been drawing on Loki's skin stretched out across his waist and he curled into Loki's embrace.


	19. Chapter 19

Thor was at the House when the news of Loki's arrest was made. It was a Friday afternoon and he'd just arrived, sleeping late in preparation for a late night at Talisman. Within minutes it was the headline story of every UK news site and several more in the US. Thor drank the glass of champagne that Sterling pressed into his hand but declined the offered refill. "I think I just want to go home, if you don't mind. I'd like to have a good sleep and put this all behind me."

"Certainly, lad. You have a glass of warm milk and put yourself to bed safe in the knowledge that you never need go back there into the clutches of those perverts."

"Thank you, sir."

He did make himself some warm milk. It wasn't enough to stop his bed feeling cold.

On Tuesday, Thor appeared at the pretrial hearing. He was the first and main witness for the prosecution, and before he took his oath the magistrate made very clear to him the importance of his telling the full and complete truth in answer to the questions posed to him.

"I understand," he said. They gave him the book and he swore to tell the truth.

They started out by asking him to describe how he had met Mr Sterling and become involved with the case, and then went through the photographs they'd chosen to use in the trial and asked him to describe what was happening in each image. He tried not to blush as he talked about the whippings, the piercings, explaining cock and ball torture in far more detail than he ever wanted to consider it. It didn't help that the magistrate was old and bore more than a passing resemblance to his grandmother.

Loki's trial began on Thursday. He pled not guilty and was released on bail, pending the full hearing in criminal court to begin the following week. That evening Thor watched on the news as the reporters clustered around Loki as he left the courthouse, shoving their microphones into his face and shouting questions at him. His appearance was a shock. He wore a suit, on the slimly cut side, yes, but overall quite normal. Everyday. He should have looked handsome; he did look handsome, Thor supposed. Had he seen him on the street with no prior knowledge of him, he would have turned Thor's head. But Thor did know him, and all he could see was how wrong it was. He was _reduced_ in these clothes, his brilliant light caged and compressed. It was almost sickening for Thor to see it. And if it was wrong to force him to be other than he was... perhaps it was not so wrong for Thor to accept himself, either.

It was with an icy rush of horror that Thor realized what he had done. He had set things wrong and there was only one way now that he could make them right.

 

Thor rose from his shabby loveseat and went to his desk. He plugged the new camera into his computer and opened the folder of images to look them over, one by one. Most were nothing more than the back of someone's head, and of the stage shots most were motion-blurred. There were a few, though, that captured the events on stage perfectly. There was Loki, skin gleaming blue beneath the lights, laughing at something said by the host as he pulled on a latex glove while beside him an assistant was swabbing alcohol onto a volunteer's nipple. There he was again, green and magenta lights dancing over him, standing tall and proud as he swung his crop against a deeply bruised arse. In yet another his face was focused and intent as he tightened a toy on someone's purpling cock.

He looked so lovely in these photos that could destroy him. Thor reached across the keyboard for the delete key. His finger hovered as he allowed himself a last moment to sear the images into his memory and then began to press, and press, and press.

Thor spent the weekend before his court appearance at his parents' house, sleeping in his old bed, eating his mother's cooking. He knew perfectly well that this was his brain seeking out comfort but he saw no reason to deny himself. There wasn't going to be much comfort where he was going.

Monday morning came and he got up earlier than he needed so that he would have more time in the shower, pretending that the hot water was enough to soothe the tension from his muscles. When he left the bathroom the colder air of the hallway made him cough, but it also smelled of his mother's baked-banana porridge. It was the treat she had made when he and Baldr were small and had a big and sometimes frightening day ahead of them. It was enough to make him smile as he put on his suit. He ate his breakfast with particular care to avoid drips. His father, wrapped up in an old bathrobe, met him at the door and clapped him on the shoulder. "Are you ready, son?"

Thor tried to smile. "I think so. I'm going to make a lot of people very unhappy, dad."

"Don't worry about that. You just worry about doing the right thing and it'll all come clean in the wash."

He wouldn't have thought the words would be quite such a relief, but they were. And his father was right, even if he was about to do something far different from what anyone expected.

He had to lie. Not because he loved Loki. He had to lie because it was the right thing to do.


	20. Chapter 20

However old he lived to be, there was no way Thor would ever forget the look on Loki's face when Thor was led into the courtroom to take the stand. Shock and hurt and disappointment and he deserved to feel none of them. He was wearing that suit again, the one that looked so painfully wrong, sitting in a box at the back of the room. Beside him were three other dominants from Talisman, the space separated by a wooden rail just above waist height. The subs who had been identified in their photographs were crowded into the two rows behind them. Above them was a small observation gallery packed with people in their best fetish clothing, all of them leaning forward, intent. The barristers sat at a table in front of the defendants and the jury, to whom Thor had been told to address his remarks, were in two rows along the far wall. It smelled like cleaning fluid.

Thor saw all of this and took in nothing but Loki's pain. He had never been anything but good to Thor and now, as Thor lay his hand upon the Bible, he prayed that what he was about to do would be enough for redemption.

The car had taken him past the front of the courthouse, gliding silently past the protestors with their _FILTH NOT FAITH_ signs and their chants muted by the windows, counter-protestors singing hymns. Despite the darkened glass he felt like they must all know it was him riding past. At least he hadn't had to listen to the charges being read. He already knew them by heart. There were nine just against Loki, all of them for infliction of actual bodily harm in a sexual context.

Thor's first few answers were just like he'd given in the initial hearing. He kept his attention fixed on the questioning barrister, the way they'd told him to do.

"Yes, sir. I was with Mr Sterling when he approached Scotland Yard about getting a police officer into Talisman to gather evidence, and they suggested that he instead consider private prosecution. Mr Sterling asked me if I would be willing to gather evidence and I agreed. I managed to get into the community and then get an invitation to the club."

"And you wore a hidden camera built into your jacket?"

"That's right. We – Mr Sterling and I – got it at a spy shop."

"I understand it was the camera you used to take these pictures?" asked the barrister as a stack of prints were carried in and arranged on an easel.

The one on display was one of Thor's favorites. In it Loki was wearing a full-body latex suit and his hair was down, hanging in lush curls about his face. His look of studied concentration displayed his power even more beautifully than did his raised whip. The sub's expression had gone beyond agony and into a place Thor was just beginning to understand.

"Yes, sir."

"Would you please explain to the court what it is we are seeing in this first image?"

Thor took a deep breath to keep his voice even. This was the moment in which everything would change. His chance to make things right. "That's the defendant pretending to whip someone," he said.

There was a rush of noise from the viewing gallery, cheering and whistling that went on until the magistrate banged his gavel. Thor didn't let himself look at Loki. It was too important to keep his face calm and neutral. All he could do was hope that Loki would understand his words for what they were. His own secret admission of guilt, his own apology.

When it was quiet the barrister spoke again. "Pretending, you said? Perhaps I misheard you, Mr Odinson."

"No, sir. The whip blows were pulled, the piercings were faked, the electrical shock machines were disconnected."

Another rush of noise filled the courtroom and when it quieted the magistrate spoke. "Bear in mind that you have sworn upon the Holy Bible to tell the truth while presenting evidence. If your current testimony contradicts your earlier statements you are admitting to both perjury and contempt of court. Are you certain you wish to hold to this statement you have just made?"

Thor looked up at him. "I am."

There was another rap of the gavel and the jury and defendants were dismissed, and Thor was put in handcuffs and taken away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally unrelated to the fic, but if anyone's going to be in London for the premiere and wants some company waiting for the red carpet walk, hit me up at needleyecandy@gmail.com!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW art! Re-coop the chickens!

Thor's whole trial seemed to take less time than serving as a witness in Loki's. He pleaded guilty at the first opportunity, there being no purpose in doing anything else. It got him a third off his sentence, taking it down to six months. He was taken from the courtroom straight to the prison, where they made a detailed list of everything taken from him, and given his new grey uniform.

It was Thor's sixth day of prison when a guard came to collect him from his cell with a terse, "Visitor, Odinson."

He stood and waited patiently while his door was unlocked. The guard led him down the long row of cells. His size seemed to be sparing him the worst of the things he had feared in here but a few kissy noises trailed after him as he went.

So far his family had been the only ones to visit him and he quelled the leaping of his heart as he thought of Loki waiting for him in the dreary interview room like a peacock in a concrete zoo. There was no way Loki would come here. He had to hate Thor for what he’d done, and all Thor could do was hope that when he was released, Loki would be willing to hear him out.

So he was right that it was not Loki who waited for him, but nor was it family.

"Hi, Thor," Rose said as he sat down.

"Hi, Rose. Thanks for coming. I figured everyone would hate me."

"People aren't thrilled, but...” She shrugged. “You did the right thing in the end. And if you'd changed your mind and backed out sooner, they'd just have sent someone else. Someone who would have... you know. Anyway, I'm here for Loki. He found I was the one who invited you to the chat room, so he wrote me and here I am.”

His heart jumped to his throat. “He’s not angry?”

That got him a smile. “He's furious. He also wanted to come see you himself but he was afraid it might end up getting you charged with complicity and he didn't want to risk it."

"I understand." These six months were going to be a long time to go without the sight of his seductive eyes and teasing smile, but Thor could bear it, so long as-

"He said to tell you he's waiting, and that he's so proud of you. Even though he's angry."

Relief was a balm on aches he'd barely even known he had. "Thank you," he breathed. "How is he besides that? Does he seem happy?"

"He misses you," she said simply.

"I miss him, too."

"Is there anything you want me to tell him?"

"Tell him...tell him I'm waiting, too. That'll make him smile."

 

After two weeks he was allowed to start wearing some of his own clothes as a reward for good behavior, even though he did his chores more out of boredom than any real interest in the rewards. It was about the same time that he was put on the general schedule, where they were released from their pads after breakfast, getting locked up long enough for the staff to eat their lunches, and then getting set loose again until after dinner. They had a half-size football field and a gym, two lounges with staticky TV sets and sticky divans, and a surprisingly well supplied library.

Rose visited him once a week, sure as clockwork, bringing messages from Loki, carrying Thor's back with her. Some of the other men locked up with him were okay, decent guys who'd made mistakes, and between games and exercises and reading he managed to pass the time. Nights were hardest, after lights out, when he had nothing to occupy his mind but longing.

Most of the men had a wank at bedtime. It was something to pass the time and help them sleep in the lumpy bunks. Their noises filled the dark cell block, harsh breathing and soft moans and gasped names of longed-for sweethearts.

It wasn't that many nights before Loki's name joined them. It was more difficult than Thor had expected at first; everything he'd done with Loki had involved heightened sensations of the sort he couldn't talk himself into pretending he felt. Even trying to imagine that the hand on his cock was Loki's didn't work, though it was better. At last he settled on picturing Loki at home, waiting for him, doing the same thing.

It was too awkward for Thor to undress more than what he needed to free his cock, but Loki would be naked. He would get himself comfortable before he started, maybe taking a hot bath or having a glass of wine. Something to relax his body, making it easier to forget whatever else he'd been thinking of and simply concentrate on how it felt to touch himself.

He would use the light on his nightstand, the one that cast a soft glow over everything. No darkness for him, no rushed and furtive jerking. He would take his time and enjoy every moment. Thor pictured him undressing – no, he'd already be undressed, Thor decided. He pictured him shrugging out of his robe. The red one tonight, his pale cheeks reflecting its color and taking on a flush of warmth. His sheets would be folded back already by the slave who had come to change the bed, clean crisp sheets every night, just the thing to slide into after a day spent in rubber or leather.

 

Thor stroked his cock, imagining Loki stroking his.

Maybe, when he came, Loki breathed Thor's name, too.

 


	22. Chapter 22

The routine was of such monotony that his release date somehow managed to come as a surprise. He was walked down the hall one last time, saying his goodbyes as he went. There was a room where he was given the clothes he'd been wearing when he arrived and he changed into them. A sealed envelope was produced and as he watched the seal was broken and his possessions returned to him.

Strange, how different the outdoors was on this side of the wall. His parents and Baldr were there, waiting right by the door, and across the street was Loki.

"Hello, Mum, Dad. Baldr," Thor said, hugging them in turn and hoping he didn't seem as hasty as he felt.

"Go on, love. Go say hello," said his mum.

He gave her a grateful smile and the second the road was clear he headed across. Loki stood there, watching him. "You're here," Thor said.

The catch in his voice made Loki smile. He cupped Thor's cheeks in his hands and gazed as though he were drowning. "You're even bigger than I remember," Loki said.

"Not much to do in there besides use the weight room."

"You went to prison for me," Loki whispered.

"Just doing what was right," Thor answered awkwardly. "Anyone would have done as much."

"If you think that, you _are_ naive. No wonder your family is watching so closely."

Thor glanced over his shoulder. "Come meet them," he urged.

"I'm not sure they'd like that."

"I love you. I know you're not what they expected, but you make me happy and you're good to me and that's what they always said they wanted me to find."

Loki looked reluctant, a questioning twist to his brows that Thor wanted nothing more than to kiss away, but he nodded and let Thor take his hand.

"Everyone, this is Loki. Loki, this is my mum, Frigga, my dad, Odin, and my brother, Baldr."

There was a deal of variety in the warmth of their reception. Baldr, with his cheerful good nature, was the first to shake Loki's hand. His mother had somewhat more reserve - he could hardly expect more under the circumstances, meeting the man for whom Thor had just done time - but she smiled and shook his hand all the same.

Even his father managed a gruff politeness. "Thor tells me you do all your own business management. That's a lot of work."

"It is. And you were in management yourself, weren't you, until you retired?"

"So I was."

This was okay. This was good. They'd talk to Loki like any other businessman Thor might be in love with and just ignore the particular nature of his business. Well, that and the fact that he was wearing black vinyl trousers that looked painted onto him, paired with a shirt that appeared to be nothing but layers upon layers of straps.

He realized with a start that the conversation had faded into nothing and they were all looking at him, expectant.

"I haven't had ice cream in six months," he said. That seemed as safe as anything.

"There's a new place just a few blocks from here, getting good reviews," offered Baldr.

"Then it's settled," said their mother.

Thor reached for Loki's hand to make sure they could walk together. He was glad to see his family, he was, but they'd all visited him. Really he just wanted Loki to take him home and hold him until he managed to forget. Loki gave it a reassuring squeeze and when Thor looked at him he was smiling back.

The ice cream place was done up like something from a movie, all glittery red vinyl and polished chrome. They were seated in a corner booth and given menus to fill the next few awkward minutes.

"What are you going to get?" Loki asked him after too long a silence.

He shook his head. "It's too much. I don't think I can choose," he said.

"What are you torn between?"

"The hot fudge sundae and the strawberry milkshake."

"We'll get both and share," Loki said.

"I thought for sure you'd want the butterscotch."

"I didn't just spend six months in prison. We'll get what you want."

"I'd like that. Thank you."

They somehow managed enough small talk between bites of their treats - and what treats they were, after months of prison commissary - to get through the next half hour.

"I think... this is all kind of overwhelming. I appreciate you all coming but I think I need to have a nap or something," he said as they piled out onto the sidewalk. He might have pretended to go to his flat if only he still had it, but his parents had moved his things out when his lease ended.

"You're welcome to my guest room," Loki said. There was no guest room and Thor suspected his parents knew that but it was an easy way to avoid the worst of the awkwardness.

"Thank you. I'd like that."

"That's my car," Loki said, pointing across the street.

"It was great to see you all. Thanks for coming," Thor said.

His mother gave him a long hug, his father a quick one, and Baldr another long one. "We'll talk soon," said his mum.

"Yes. Okay."

Tension melted from his neck as he slid into the limo. "Thanks. I know that was horrible."

"It's alright. They love you." He pressed the intercom. "Home."

Loki pulled Thor into his lap and he lay there, savoring the feel of gentle fingers in his hair and wondering how he had ever lived without it.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooo NSFW art. Have I warned you about your puppies yet? Because please think of the puppies. Oh goodness, protect the puppies.

Traffic was bad, all snarled up around what seemed like more wrecks than he usually saw in a month. It took forever to get back to the dungeon but he had no complaints. It was enough to be together, wherever the detours ended up sending them. It was the crunch of gravel that said the car had pulled into the parking lot where the limos and lorries were kept. He sat up and looked around. So little had changed, the past six months could almost not have happened. They went inside and here Thor found more differences. The formerly black accent wall was now a deep purple and there was a new brass suspension frame in front of it, and a few slaves whose faces he didn't recognize. They went to Loki's room and curled up in his bed together. Thor hadn't really expected to sleep but almost the instant his head hit the pillow he was drifting off. He woke with a start.

"It's okay. You're home, you're home," Loki soothed, drawing him close.

"What time is it?"

"Almost seven."

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sleep so long," Thor said, sitting up.

"Don't be. You needed it. Are you hungry?"

The answering rumble of his stomach answered for him and made Loki laugh. "Come on. I told them to make your favorites."

It was funny. While Thor was in prison he had a million things he wanted to talk to Loki about, but now that they were together, it seemed all he could do was stare. Loki was quiet too, gazing back at Thor, idly twirling his fork long after the pasta was all wrapped around it. It was so much simply to be near him, after how long he had longed.

"I missed you so much," Thor said at last.

"I missed you, too. It's been lonely."

"I'm sorry I put you through that. I'm so sorry."

Loki gave an unhappy shrug. "Better you than someone who wouldn't have gotten an attack of conscience before it was too late. And I think we all take time to figure out who we are. What we are."

"I never wanted to hurt you. I knew it was going to happen, but it was never my purpose. I just thought... I was confused."

"I understand. I don't like it, but I understand. Come on," he said, standing up.

They went back to the bedroom and undressed in silence before climbing back into bed.

"I've been thinking. A lot. I want us to start with a clean slate, okay? So you ask me anything you want and I promise I'll tell the truth this time," Thor said.

Loki smiled weakly. "I'd like that, too. So, umm." He sighed. "I guess, to start, how much of what you told me _was_ the truth? I've spent the last six months telling myself that at least some of it was true, and the fact that you're here..."

"As much as I could. I hated the lying. Even when I thought seeing you jailed was worth everything I did, I hated the lies. And especially towards the end, I was lying to myself as much as to you."

Something fragile and precious shone in Loki's face that Thor couldn't resist. He leaned forwards and kissed him, a long and gentle kiss that could have happily lasted forever.

"That was what I hoped. What I kept telling myself," Loki whispered. "I'd fallen so in love with you, and then I walked in and saw you sitting with the prosecution and it tore me in half. And then when you began to testify... I thought maybe I wasn't such a complete fool after all."

"You weren't. Too trusting of someone in a chat room, maybe, but from now on I'll handle the computer security stuff for you."

That made Loki chuckle. "I asked you before what you wanted to be to me. You said you didn't want to be a slave."

"And you asked me to be your pet." A pet. Someone special, someone treasured. Someone deeply, deeply loved. "Yes," Thor answered again, and this time his whole heart was in it. "I would like that."

This time it was Loki who initiated their kiss, and Thor melted into it, his heart starting to race. "I had a lot of time to think about something else while I was in prison, too," Thor said when they broke apart.

"Mmm?"

"I don't want to wait anymore. I want to. With you."


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, not one comment about our darling virgin saying he didn't want to wait any more? I'm either losing my touch or I drowned you all in the fluff. I'm going to put it down to fluff.

"No," Loki answered.

That was... unexpected, to say the least. "What?"

Loki shook his head. "No," he said simply. He sat up and swung his feet to the floor. He leaned over and rummaged under the bed as he continued. "I was going to wait on this until you'd had a chance to get reacclimated to the outside world, but..."

When he sat up he was holding a box, wide and shallow, made of a red wood that had been buffed to a deep glow. He presented it to Thor with both hands and Thor looked up to find him biting his lip.

Thor reached out and raised the lid. Inside was a silver chain of links so tiny it moved between his fingers like liquid when he picked it up. At one point there was a solid bit, a little longer than a cube and covered with delicate scrollwork. It had to be an ornamental clasp of some sort and he turned it over, looking for the mechanism, and there, on the third side, he found it. Nestled almost invisibly in the decorations was a keyhole. His heart skipped a beat. "You want me to wear your collar? I've read about this. This is... this means a lot, doesn't it?"

"It's a commitment. A serious one. For me, this is just as serious as marriage is to you. Which I'm also asking, by the way. In case you hadn't noticed from the whole presentation and everything."

Thor had imagined how this moment would be. The butterflies in his stomach if he were the one asking, the elation of being asked by the one he would say yes to.

The real thing eclipsed his imaginings into nothing.

Loki was still worrying his lip and Thor reached out to smooth his finger across it. "I didn't realize, but yes. Yes, I want to marry you more than anything. I didn't think you cared about that." He was laughing and then Loki was laughing too and pulling him close.

"I don't, not on its own. But I respect that it's important to you. We'll do rings, too, of course. If you want."

"I do."

"We'll do it however you want, okay? My feelings are in this," Loki said, his fingers trailing along the collar. "We'll get married however you want and that night I'll put this on you."

"I'd like that." His eyes flared open. "Have I told you that I love you?"

Loki chuckled at his alarm. "A thousand times. Every time you look at me. I love you, too."

"I know. You wouldn't have waited for me otherwise."

"Very true."

"So now... I meant it, you know. I do want to."

"And I meant it when I said no. You told me that you wanted to wait until you were married and that's what we're going to do."

"And you told me that you weren't going to fuck me until I asked," Thor pointed out, grinning.

Loki laughed and it was... there was everything he had missed, right there in that warm lush sound. "That's not the same as saying I would fuck you as soon as you asked. And are you really going to become disobedient the minute you've agreed to be collared?" he asked, but his voice was light and teasing and so Thor answered in the same vein.

"I'm not wearing it yet," he pointed out.

"Are you trying to get yourself a spanking?"

Yes. He was. He hadn't realized but it was what he needed, and not for this mild disobedience. "I deserve it."

"You understand that I won't be doing it out of anger?" Loki asked after a pause. He wasn't talking about Thor's retort, either.

Thor nodded. "Please. Don't you think I need one?"

"Mmm. Very much. I just needed to make sure you understood first." He slithered up until he was leaning against the headboard and stared pointedly at his bared lap.

Thor lay across it, settling his weight carefully as he lowered himself. Loki stroked his hair and then began.

Loki had called his previous spanking a warm-up. He wasn't lying. This time it was with his full strength and where before it had stung this time it flat-out hurt and Thor was grateful. It felt purifying, cathartic. It hurt so much less than the pain he felt at the sorrow he had caused and each stroke of Loki's hand took more of that away until he was purged of guilt and pain alike and Loki was kissing away his tears.

"Feel better?" Loki asked.

Thor nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I want you to know you can always ask for correction when you feel you need it."

"I'll remember. Can we cuddle now?"

"Of course we can. Turn off the light and we'll get comfy."

Thor's arse was just sore enough to get onto all fours to reach for the lamp rather than rolling over. The lingering pain was comforting, a reminder that he had been cleansed and freed. "It's good to be home," Thor said as he curled against Loki in the darkness.

Loki drew him close and kissed him on the forehead. "It's good to have you home."

Thor's life had gone from prison to perfect in a single day.

Now he just had to tell his family.


	25. Chapter 25

Thor decided to start with Baldr. _You going to family dinner on Sunday?_ he texted.

_Do I ever not?_

_Can we meet somewhere first? Just the two of us?_

_Predinner pint at the Crowning Glory? It'll be like old times_  

Perhaps more than he knew. It used to be their routine, meeting there an hour before they were expected at the house and having a pint. It helped them stay a part of each other's lives. It was also where Baldr had talked to Thor about Nanna and, more specifically, his nerves about talking to their parents about his engagement.

At least he'd known they liked Nanna, even if they did think Baldr was too young to get married. Thor had privately questioned it himself, but when it came time to bite the bullet he planted himself solidly at Baldr's side. Now it was time for Baldr to return the favor.

_Perfect, see you at 11_

_See you_

 

Thor got there first. The pub did a good dinner, but he and Baldr were far enough ahead of the rush that they never had any trouble finding a quiet table in the corner where they could talk in privacy. He sat down and sipped a glass of lemonade as he waited for his brother. It was one of those pubs that seemed to have been there forever, as though the earth had sprouted it during the shifting of the plates. Every so often he'd catch a whiff of scent from the kitchen, rich with sage and carrots, that set his mouth to watering. He'd not been there long when his phone vibrated in his pocket.

_Bus is 5 min away, order for me_

He went up to the bar and waited for the bartender, who was bustling around getting ready for the day. She was in the kitchen long enough that Thor was just sitting down with their pints when Baldr arrived.

"So, big brother, what is this about?" Baldr asked. He picked up his glass and held it out. Thor clinked it with his own and took a sip. He opened his mouth to answer, took another, larger, sip, and set it down.

"Loki asked me to marry him," he said. He left out the collar. Baldr didn't need details.

It was lucky Baldr had already put his glass back down as well. As it was, Thor narrowly avoided a face full of ale. "And you said...?"

"I said yes."

Baldr gave a low whistle. "Have you told mum and dad?"

"Not yet. That's why I wanted to talk to you. How do you think I should do it?"

"Honestly? Drunk."

Thor sighed.

"Maybe get them drunk, too," Baldr added.

"Not helping."

"No? Sorry. I don't know what to tell you. But he makes you happy? You love each other, right? It's not just the... you know. Or the sex."

"We haven't had sex," Thor told him.

"You haven't? But..."

"Just other stuff. I asked him. He said no." Baldr was looking more uncomfortable by the second and as entertaining as it was to torture his little brother, Thor also needed an ally. "But to answer your question, yes. He makes me very happy, and we do love each other."

"Then I suppose it's my turn."

"It is, rather."

"Another pint first?"

"Definitely." 

 

Baldr kept kicking him under the table all through dinner even though Thor had told him, on the walk over, that he was going to wait until after they'd eaten, in case it went badly. Their mother, being their mother, noticed.

"Alright, what is it?" she asked as their dad poured coffee.

Thor wrapped both hands around his cup. The delicate china had been in the family for three generations and one day it would be Addie's. Thinking about time on that sort of scale made things easier. Surely this cup had been used by others facing difficult conversations, this gold rim brushed by other lips that had needed to tell difficult truths.

"It's about Loki," Thor said. That was enough to start. He took a sip of his drink.

"...yes?" prodded their mum.

Nothing to do but say it. Or blurt it, as the case may be. "He asked me to marry him. I said yes."

" _Oh_ ," she said, blinking. "Well, he did seem very polite."

"Remember how Thor almost had that meltdown at the ice cream place when he couldn't decide what to get, and Loki shared with him rather than getting what he wanted for himself?" Baldr asked.

Thor had not almost had a meltdown. He hadn't come anywhere near to having a meltdown, but he could hardly retaliate against his smirking brother when he was trying to help as much as he was trying to tease.

"That was kind," she agreed.

"Very kind," Baldr said.

"And this is really what you want. Not guilt or... I don't know. Physical addiction or something?"

"They haven't had sex yet," Baldr told her. "Thor wanted to, but Loki insisted that they wait."

Thor put his head down on the table.

"I think that speaks very well of him, that he's respecting your beliefs," said their father unexpectedly.

Thor raised his head. "You're not upset, dad?"

"I'm as surprised as you are. But if you could have seen how your face lit up when you were with him... and he was just the same way with you. It's how I feel about your mother," he said, casting a fond glance at her. "So, no, I'm not upset. But _do_ try to stay out of the papers, would you?"


	26. Chapter 26

Thor suggested a destination wedding, figuring it would spare them both a lot of awkwardness. They had the option of a civil marriage somewhere near home, of course, which they could follow with commitment prayers in the church where he'd grown up, but there was still the fact that it was the same church where he'd met Sterling.

"Oh, I think we _should_ have it there," Loki said. His face shone bright with mischief. "Let's send him an invitation."

"Loki!"

"I mean it. We never would have met without him. Maybe I can ask him to be my best man, that would only be polite..."

"You're terrible."

"That _is_ why you tried to send me jail," Loki pointed out.

Thor groaned. "You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

Loki raised a brow. "I can't imagine why I would."

"To be nice?"

" _I'm_ very nice to _you. You_ tried to send me to jail."

"Loki!" Thor said again, but this time he was laughing.

"Alright. We'll leave his name off the guest list. But never let it be said I don't do anything for you."

Thor leaned in for a kiss. "Never."

 

They ended up agreeing to go to Scotland. Thor really did want to get married in a church, and Loki said they should do what he wanted. They found a reverend in Edinburgh willing to celebrate the Mass for them and three weeks later their intimate party was boarding the train north. The ceremony was simple and solemn. Loki looked radiantly handsome, Thor thought. His tuxedo jacket was trimmed with shining latex rather than satin, but if the reverend noticed he kindly overlooked it.

"Are you going to invite your family?" Thor had asked tentatively.

"They hardly deserve it," Loki had answered. "I've made my own family."

At first Thor had thought that just meant him, which made him partly happy and partly worried about what a sizeable burden it was for any one person to bear, but after he found Loki smiling at his computer later that evening he learned that four of Loki's friends from home would be able to attend despite the short notice. They were there now in the front pew trying to stifle their yawns induced by a mix of jet lag and staying up late celebrating. They, like Loki, had managed to find clothes that were true to their nature while still respectful of the surroundings.

Thor's family still looked slightly uncomfortable around Loki but they were adjusting rapidly. "We're old. It takes a little time to get used to these new things. But it's clear that you belong together," his mum had told him.

"Baldr's younger than I am," Thor pointed out, stifling a grin.

They went from the church right to the station for the train back to London where they would celebrate at an evening reception with the extended family and larger group of friends. As Thor had expected, his announcement had proven divisive; some of his friends, mostly from childhood, had cut him off, but many had not, welcoming his happiness even if they were unfamiliar with the direction it had taken.

One of the subs at Talisman had previously worked as a caterer, and she had gone all out to make their reception a glorious affair. She wasn't a baker but she still had the industry connections to get them a cake from someone who normally had a four-month waiting list. It was a thing of beauty and, unusual for a wedding cake, as delicious as it was lovely; three tiers of lemon cake covered in elegantly swirled blackberry buttercream, not too sweet, and garnished with fresh blackberries and red rose petals.

They fed each other their first bites. Neither smushed cake onto the other's face and out of the corner of his eye Thor saw his mum smiling to herself.

They didn't have much interest in the thought of travelling after they'd been up and busy all day with the ceremony and reception, so they'd agreed to spend their first night at home and leave for their honeymoon the following day. They left the party in a limo festooned with red roses. "That's the first time I've been asked to leave the thorns on, but I'm not going to argue with less work," the florist had commented.

Thor was almost bouncing in his seat with excitement as they rode through the wet streets, the pavement gleaming with the distorted reflections of lamplights. Loki's friends were right behind them in another limo, claiming to Thor's gathered friends and family that they were heading back to their hotel for the night. They were, more or less; they just had a stop to make first.

Loki put a blindfold on Thor to lead him through the dungeon to their bedroom to change clothes while his friends set up the final touches outside. At Thor's request, Loki wore the same chaps he'd had on the first time they met. Thor had a new bodysuit, a little latex and a lot of mesh and, as Loki said was important, a single zipper to get the whole thing off.

The ceremony was just as simple and just as solemn as the Mass had been. A small table had been set with candles and roses and the box with Thor's collar. They stood facing each other and Loki promised to treasure and love Thor, and Thor promised to love and adore him. Then Loki put the collar around Thor's neck and gave him a kiss as he turned the tiny key.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yes, it's NSFW art time. Thanks to justanothertart for the - ahem - middle parts.

The others left with goodwill on their lips and Thor and Loki were finally, blessedly, alone.

Loki's hands were gentle as they came to rest on Thor's arms. "So here we are."

"Here we are."

"What do you want to do first?"

"This," Thor answered, sinking to his knees. He looked up for affirmation and Loki gazed down with a benevolent smile and nodded to him.

His hands were shaking slightly with anticipation as he reached up to grasp Loki's hips. Loki was already hard and just the touch of Thor's breath made a clear bead of liquid appear at the tip. Thor closed his eyes and leaned forwards.

 

The skin was so soft beneath his lips, so warm, and as he parted them to slide down Loki gave a quiet moan. He licked tentatively at the tip, catching the drop of precum on his tongue and sliding it around. It was salty and the taste melted into the subtle musk of Loki's body and sent an unexpected shiver down the back of his neck. Thor looked up and found that Loki's eyes had fallen shut and his face was graced with a tranquil smile. He tried to take more and almost choked, his head jerking back, and Loki's smile broadened as he smoothed his hand down the back of Thor's head.

Thor wrapped one hand around the shaft to keep himself from going too far as he bobbed his head, stroking it with his lips as he sucked lightly. It was so easy to get into it, watching the reactions on Loki's face as Thor moved faster and experimented with how he might use his tongue. He'd read that it was considered impolite for the receiver to force the giver's head but now he imagined Loki grasping hold and using Thor exactly as he wanted and suddenly that was sounding really good. He reached back and put his hand over Loki's, showing him what he wanted. Loki's fingers tensed and then he was guiding Thor's movements, pulling at him and guiding him and then gasping and shoving him away.

"Wait. Stop," Loki panted.

Thor looked up, a worried frown twisting his brow. "You don't like it? I can do something different if you tell me. I've never..."

"No. It's definitely not that," Loki said, his voice breathy with laughter. "Sure, you have more enthusiasm than finesse, but there's a lot to be said for enthusiasm. I only stopped you because I didn't want to come like that."

It was thrilling, to think he had almost made Loki come, that he could do that himself with just mouth and hands. The fact that millions of people around the world did it every day took nothing away from the excitement of it because this was _him,_ him doing that to Loki and making him make those sounds.

Thor loosened the buckles on Loki's chaps and slid them down elegant legs before standing to tug off his own clothes. Loki drew him onto the bed and that was when he really got lost, kissing and touching and being kissed and being touched. He went carefully over Loki's body until every inch had been covered in adoration. He learned that Loki was sensitive behind his knees and on the smooth skin on his upper arms where Thor licked when Loki stretched them wide. Loki set his senses alight, too, and it was warm and soft and lovely even when Loki was biting his nipples until they were throbbing or dragging his short nails down Thor's back.

"I don't think I can wait much longer without exploding," Thor finally confessed.

"Okay. I trust you remember how to get started." Loki sank back into the pillows, one foot drawn up, thighs falling wide.

Thor blinked at him. "You want _me_ to?"

"Unless you don't want to," Loki said, doubt flickering through his eyes.

"Of course I do. I want to make you feel good however you want it. I just didn't expect..."

Loki's lips quirked upwards. "Everybody has the same nerve endings. And sometimes it's nice to be the one who's seen to."

"Okay." Thor leaned forwards and kissed the bony knee sticking up before him. The plug wasn't really the same thing but it seemed close enough, and it had felt exquisite. "Yes, I remember what to do." 

He started with the sensitive patch hidden in shadow, rubbing his fingertips lightly across the seam of skin. Loki moaned quietly and Thor almost forgot to breathe. He didn't slide farther back until Loki's eyes had fallen shut. The taut furl of muscle fluttered at his touch and he drank it in, memorizing every tiny twitch. He traced around the edge, drew lines up and down, tapped gently, until he felt it begin to relax beneath his attentions. The bottle of lube on the nightstand was full and he felt a flare of gratitude at whichever sub had noticed they needed more.

His eyes were locked on Loki's face as he slid in the first slick finger. "Is that good?" he asked, not that he really knew any other way of doing it.

"Lovely," Loki answered with a happy sigh.

Loki was so soft inside, like his body was lined with silk. Thor could already imagine exactly how it would feel when he finally pushed in, so smooth and hot and tight. There was no rush, though. He was going to take his time and make everything just right. Loki shifted and stretched, every inch of him languid and relaxed, as Thor gently worked him open.

"Tell me when, okay? I'm not sure I'll be able to tell."

"Mmm. I think I've been ready for a while now. It just feels so nice."

"So you want me to?"

"I believe that was established some time ago," Loki said. There was a thread of fond laughter in his voice that made Thor want to laugh with him.

"I meant _now._ But why do I think you already knew that?"

"Because you know how much I like to tease you."

"I like you teasing me."

Loki spread his legs wider, making room for Thor's hips between his thighs, and Thor moved between them. Thor took hold of his cock and brought it into place, pausing to drink in the expression on Loki's face when they touched. Loki's entrance was slick and relaxed and there was no need for Thor to go this slowly but his own desire to remember every second of this for the rest of his life.

"Mmm... Thor..." Loki breathed.

It felt like a miracle, that their bodies could fit together like this, to make each other feel this good. Thor had given him pleasure before, but to do it entirely with his own body, to elicit these sharp gasps and delirious sighs with nothing but himself... it gave him a swell of happiness that melted into the love already in his heart. This, this was what he had waited for, this was why he had waited.

He could happily have spent forever pushing his way deeper, his attention fixed on every sound Loki made, every movement of his lips and every flutter of his lashes, but before he knew it their bodies were flush together. He was hot and tight, muscles clenching around Thor and way too good to draw back right away. Thor did press himself up enough to look between them, reaching down to trace a reverent finger along the delicate line where they joined.

Loki sighed as Thor drew back, his limpid eyes half-closed as he watched Thor's face. The second thrust was just as slow, just as careful. Thor felt almost as though he were drowning, the intensity almost too much to bear. He leaned down for fevered kisses and Loki met them with matching greed and Thor thought, _I love you, I love you._

Loki rolled his hips, lips falling open in a silent gasp as he took Thor even deeper, and wrapped his legs high about Thor's waist. "Even better like this," he murmured.

"Perfect," Thor told him.

He went faster when he could no longer go slowly. Loki's moans gave way to pleasured cries that made Thor feel like the best person in the history of the earth, that he could make Loki feel this way. He really wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to last, but he was sure that he wanted Loki to come first, so he reached down between them, meaning to bring Loki off, but Loki batted his hand away.

"Not yet. I'm still enjoying this," he said. There was a tone in his voice that Thor might have taken for innocent were it not for the sly curl to his lips.

The third time that Loki knocked away Thor's seeking hand, Thor groaned. "You're trying to kill me."

"Oh, not at all, darling," Loki cooed. "Where would be the fun in that? I'm just trying to torture you." He flashed a smile of dazzling brilliance and squeezed and what had been delicious tightness turned into very nearly too much.

"Loki, please, I... really, please, please, I really don't think..." He broke off and fixed Loki with pleading eyes.

Loki hummed thoughtfully, tilting his head to the side. "I suppose, since you used the magic word," he agreed.

"Thank you," Thor breathed, and for all the show of patience Loki had been putting on, he still arched up into Thor's grasp with a shuddering gasp.

Loki's climax was a glorious thing to watch, like the light of a sunrise spilling westwards over the mountains. His body shook and trembled in Thor's arms and his face was the very picture of ecstasy. His spend coated Thor's hand and his sweat-soaked hair clung to his face and Thor never wanted to see him any other way ever again.

"Now, Thor. You, too. You can let go," Loki panted.

Thor buried his face in Loki's neck, filling his lungs with Loki's scent and let it tip him over the edge. Loki was still coming and Thor could feel it inside, the muscles clenching and rippling around him as his hips froze with him buried deep inside to drink in every second.

Loki made a noise, soft and secret, when he felt Thor begin to spill inside him. "Yes, yes, Thor, that's lovely..."

There were a million things Thor wanted to tell Loki: that he was the most radiant creature Thor had ever seen; that Thor wanted to spend the rest of his life making him happy; that Thor had never realized how deeply he could love. All he managed to say was Loki's name, over and over, reverent, worshipful, and for now that was enough.

When it was over Thor pulled out as slowly as he could, doing his best to avoid annoying oversensitive nerves, and collapsed to the bed. He gave a breathless laugh. "Loki, that was... thank you. Thank you for letting me." It was probably a silly thing to say but the words came bubbling out of him like a fountain.

"I liked it, too. Very good for a first time. And you're _so_ close to being done."

"Huh?" Thor struggled to sit up and look down at Loki. His eyes were soft, his cock was softening, there was come smeared all over his stomach... did he want Thor to make him come again? Not that Thor wouldn't love to, but-

Loki put a box of tissues in Thor's hand and stared at it pointedly.

Ah. Thor grinned at him and tugged out a fistful. Loki smiled back at him as Thor began cleaning his skin, hands clumsy with afterglow. He managed to be more careful with Loki's swollen entrance, daubing away the streaks of lube and a trickle of come, so white against the red.

"Is it going to keep leaking out? Do you want me to get you a towel or something?"

Loki shook his head. "Towels are better than nothing but they still get gross. Better just to sleep on my stomach."

When he had gotten himself comfortable, body prone and relaxed, one knee drawn up to the side, Thor drew the covers over him and tucked them securely around his shoulders. He got up to turn out the light and when he slid back into bed Loki's hand was waiting to take his own.


	28. Chapter 28

Their honeymoon was in Berlin. Loki had gotten them invitations to private clubs for several nights of their stay and when they arrived at their hotel they were there just long enough to eat a hurried room service dinner while dressing. A cab took them to a cinderblock building covered in graffiti. Loki gave their names to the person working the door and they were in.

"Is it weird being in the audience?" Thor asked as they stood sipping their drinks – an excellent German beer for Thor, an alarmingly blue cocktail for Loki – and watching a temporary piercing scene. The sub's dick was starting to look like a porcupine and Loki was nodding absentmindedly as he watched the dom's slow precision.

Loki hummed in thought. "Kinda. It's been awhile. It's fun, though. I enjoy my work, but I'm always so focused on keeping it looking good for the audience. Sometimes it's nice getting to just relax and let someone else do everything."

"You do like that," Thor answered with a grin.

"Patience. You'll get yours."

"Tonight?"

Loki's lips quirked as he wrapped them around his straw.

 

Technically it was the next morning when Thor got his, but as they hadn't slept yet it still felt like the same night. They'd packed a few toys that Loki said he couldn't live without and Thor's skin hummed with excitement in the cab back to the hotel.

"Now, then. Whatever am I going to do with you?" Loki asked as he closed the door behind them.

"I _think_ you're going to fuck me."

"Oh, yes. That's right. Let's shower first, though. If you're half as sweaty as I am in all this latex..."

"I like you sweaty."

Loki's lips curled up into a knowing smile. "I like you sweaty, too, but this will be nicer if we're all clean."

 _This_ turned out to be Loki's tongue slipping into Thor's arse as he was bent over, hands clutching desperately at the soap dish as hot water pounded down on his spine.

"Oh, God, Loki..."

"Mmm. Taking the name of the Lord in vain, now, are we?"

"Not at all. Like you said, we all have the same nerve endings. He must have put them there for a reason."

"Well, we wouldn't want to seem ungrateful."

"No, we really wouldn't. Nor would we- ah!" He broke off as Loki licked back inside. Loki's hand slipped forwards between Thor's legs and wrapped around his cock and he gave up trying to talk.

By the time they got out to dry off and move to the bed, Thor felt like he could have come from the weight of Loki's gaze. Hungry, even predatory, and were it anyone else it would have made him feel like a piece of meat but Loki looking at him like that simply made him hungrier in return.

They had called down for extra towels and now as Thor turned back the duvet and covered the bed in a protective layer Loki got the bottle of lube from his suitcase. Thor's body felt tense with excitement and loose and relaxed all at once and when Loki eased a long finger inside him he rocked up to welcome it.

Loki smiled lazily. "You like that, do you?"

"I do. Only kiss me?"

So Loki leaned down and kissed him, lightly at first, and when his tongue teased Thor's lips open and slipped inside he gave Thor another finger. They twisted and curled, scissoring and teasing until he was ready for more. Loki gave him everything he wanted, everything he needed, and he was lost to sensation.

"Hands and knees is easiest for your first time," Loki said finally.

Thor did his best not to look crestfallen. "You don't want to be face to face?"

"Later. I'd rather hear you have a good time than watch you not." Apparently, Thor did not hide his feelings so well as he'd hoped, for after regarding him a moment, Loki added, "though I suppose we could start out facing and change if it's too much. But you have to promise you'll say so if it is."

"I will. I'd like that. Thank you." Thor settled back into the pillows, ready for Loki to move above him. This was it, this was _it_ , what he'd wanted for so long and the previous night had only made him want it more.

Loki stayed where he was, gazing down at Thor with a trace of amusement. "Have you ever had a pony?"

For a split second Thor wondered what that had to do with anything and then understanding dawned. "No, but I always wanted one."

"Then it's your lucky day in more ways than one."

Thor scrambled up and Loki, laughing softly, took his place. Thor knelt beside him, watching as he slicked himself and then nodded. The mattress was firm under Thor's knees as he straddled Loki's lithe figure.

"Nice and slow. We've got all night," Loki reminded him. "But this first." He reached up and took Thor's face between his hands and pulled him down for a long and probing kiss.

When Loki let go Thor sat up, gazing down unblinking as though he could never get his fill of the sight before him. Soft and creamy skin over long lean muscles, damp and gleaming hair not yet messy on the pillow, and best of all the same look on his face that Thor knew was on his own. He reached back and took hold and, nice and slow, just like Loki said, began to lower himself.

It felt different than the things they'd used before. So soft, compared to metal or glass, even though it was not soft at all, and it was warm and it twitched inside him when he inadvertently clenched around it. Alive. It was part of Loki and he loved Loki and he loved this, it burned a little each time he took more but it didn't really hurt; Loki hadn't needed to worry but he did anyway because Thor was his-

"My precious pet," Loki murmured, affectionately rubbing his hands against Thor's hips. "Do you know how much I love you?"

"More than anything," Thor said softly.

"More than anything. And you're doing so well. How does it feel?"

"Like I never want to be doing anything else ever again."

Loki gave him a squeeze. "Me either."

When his hips met Loki's he paused, letting himself adjust to the sensation and hoping he'd never get used to it. This was bliss and ecstasy and love and he didn't want to get used to it, he wanted it to be a revelation each and every time Loki was inside him. 

Loki had waited, patient, until he was ready to move. Now Thor began to lift up, the muscles in his thighs bunching beneath his hands. He still went slowly, just as he'd been told, but the burning was nearly gone and now his pace was to tease himself. Still, he couldn't resist a little more speed as he slid back down and after the look that crossed Loki's face he wanted more. And the noises he was making… Thor leaned down to rest his lips against Loki's, the softest kiss letting him feel as much as hear.

“You feel wonderful,” Loki murmured. “My sweet Thor.”

Thor shifted up to kiss Loki's eyelids, his temples, down along his jaw, riding him harder, needing to cover him in kisses, he hadn't known he could love so much-

Loki slipped a hand between them and pressed against his chest. "Okay. Get up."

It took a moment for the words to make their way to Thor's delirious brain. "No, please, Loki, I'm so-" He broke off when Loki reached up to twist Thor's collar around his finger and raised a single brow. He nodded silently and rose up, stifling a regretful groan when Loki's cock popped free.

"On your back," Loki told him.

It wasn't what he'd expected but it was what he wanted so he hastened to lie down where Loki had been, his skin drinking in Loki's warmth and then Loki was above him and pushing his way back inside. It did feel tighter like this, and tighter still when he rolled his hips and fixed his legs around Loki's waist. Loki's eyes were on him, intent, so cautious as he forced his way into the constricted passage, but when Thor groaned in pleasure he relaxed.

It was faster than Thor had been able to move, so fast but gentle, too, so careful with him. The need was getting almost overwhelming now and Loki was looking at him like he was the most perfect thing on earth. His cock was rubbing against Loki's smooth belly and it was so very nearly enough.

“Ready?” Loki whispered, and before Thor’s could answer his hand wrapped around Thor's cock and he just had to brush his thumb across the sensitive head before Thor was arching up into his touch and crying out. It was perfect, Loki was inside him and around him and it was perfect. The tension had been building inside him for hours, from the moment Loki had noticed his particular interest in something being done on stage and leaned over to whisper, “I'm going to do that to you. But better,” and now it broke free and he came in a shower of stars and dizzying, dizzying green.

It was almost too much afterwards, oversensitive nerves jangling at each push and pull, but Loki was whispering wild and desperate things, how much he loved Thor, how perfect this felt, how hot and tight, and so Thor gritted his teeth and squeezed and that was all it took. He could feel Loki spilling inside of him, all liquid heat and trembling. Thor stared up at him, held rapt by the sight of his love undone by pleasure.

Loki cleaned him with the gentlest hands. Anyone watching who didn't understand would have said no, there is no way this can be the same man who does those other things, those things he does on stage. Thor understood now. There were many ways of giving love. Some came more easily than others, but to Thor, Loki could give them all.

When the messy towels were tossed aside Loki got back in bed and Thor, mindful of the night before, shifted to his stomach and wiggled his way into Loki's arms.

"Mmm. I love how cuddly you get after I get you off," Loki said. His voice was sleepy and content.

Thor chuckled. "So do I."

 

On one of their free nights they went to a club in a former power station but after looking at the people in line they left without going in. They lucked into a cab driver who was both talkative and likeable, and ended up spending several hours riding around seeing the city at night. The rest of their free nights, they stayed in.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I didn't mean to leave you hanging for the last chapter! I had a really long day yesterday and by the time I had internet access I was so tired I couldn't remember my password. Thanks, as always, for reading and for the lovely feedback!

Thor had never known he could be so happy. Loki made him feel like the most precious person on earth and it gave him an indescribable sensation to make Loki feel the same. Loki liked to sit Thor at his dressing table and brush his hair until it was a perfect gleaming waterfall. It reminded Thor of when he was young and his mother would cheerfully attack his perpetual tangles, but there was nothing motherly about the way Loki kissed him when he was done, nor when he whispered, "Now that your hair is so nice and smooth I think I want to mess it up..."

Even better than the happiness was the freedom. Loki had known him at his very worst and still accepted him, still loved him. The delicate chain locked around his neck was just heavy enough to serve as a constant reminder that he was loved and wanted exactly as he was. There was a warmth and joy to everything they did together so that even those acts that left Thor bruised or in tears had a sense of innocence to them.

As he had promised, Thor took over computer security for Loki's business, which consisted of making his site more secure, moving as much data as possible onto a machine with no internet access, and running checks on potential new attendees. He also started building a digital empire, for which they charged a monthly fee to access enough material to be worth twice what they asked. It was by far the most challenging and enjoyable job he had ever had, and the first to give him a real sense of pride and satisfaction in his work.

Loki invited Thor to join the stage performances, but Thor had not been lying when he said he wanted to remain private. Loki accepted his feelings and Thor would watch from the back of the room. He no longer felt jealous when he watched Loki with other subs, putting on shows or going about daily life in his dungeon. Not with the mood Loki was in when he came to Thor afterwards in need of aftercare which, for Loki, meant giving it to Thor. They would spend hours together, Loki cuddling Thor, praising him, sometimes taking a bath together or feeding him all sorts of things dipped in chocolate.

"What did you do before me?" Thor asked once. "If this is something you need?"

"I didn't do it," Loki said simply. "I'm not sure I knew how much it mattered to me, not until you."

It made Thor sad, thinking of Loki being alone when he had so much love to give.

Loki smiled up at him. "Don't look like that. I've got you now."

"Yeah. You do."

Thor, like Loki, had a unique position in the sharply defined hierarchy. He was in charge of everything to do with systems, while in business matters, his decisions were second only to Loki's. In social matters, he was more or less equal to the other dominants employed there. It didn't take him long to learn that treating the slaves as slaves was neither rude nor bossy, but polite; it pleased them to serve, just as he was pleased by serving Loki.

There was only one thing keeping his happiness from being absolute. "I don't trust them not to come after you again," he lamented. "I'm making everything as secure as I possibly can, but the only way to be completely safe is to never admit another new member. One day someone's going to find a way in. As long as Talisman is in the UK, you’re not safe."

"I'd be able to move it back home easily enough, but I hate the thought of taking you so far away from your family. Especially with your parents getting older," Loki replied. He was so visibly unhappy that Thor half regretted saying anything.

"I know. I do, too. Believe me, I've thought about this a lot. And I thought... we both liked Berlin, right?"

Loki's smile made Thor think of those videos where you can see a flower blooming before your eyes. "We did."

"And they knew you there, you already have a following, and it's only a two hour flight away. That’s close enough for lots of visits, and I could be home quickly when needed."

"I'll have to sound things out, see if there's a free night I could take."

"I know. But if there is..."

"If there is, it sounds perfect. I knew there was a reason I collared you."

"And here I thought it was because I was so pretty."

Loki laughed. "What have I told you about vanity?"

"That it earns me spankings," Thor answered, batting his lashes and smiling hopefully.

"Mmm. Bedroom. Now."

 

The screams were as loud as ever when Loki took the stage, hushing into complete silence when he took the microphone. His announcement that Talisman was leaving London was met by a chorus of lamentation, even after he explained that the other dominants planned to remain together and start their own dungeon with its own shows. Loki would be here for another month and then his equipment would be shipped to their new home in Berlin.

The move went smoothly, and two days after Thor and Loki moved into their apartment above the new dungeon, the trucks full of his equipment arrived to unload. It was a long day with both of them busy supervising but at last they were all alone and still energetic enough to enjoy it. Loki sent Thor to the new storeroom and told him to come back with a toy he wanted to use. Thor plucked the red leather whip from the wall and hastened back to find Loki readying a frame. He fixed Thor's wrists and ankles to the corners, checking the tightness carefully as he always did, and kissed Thor on the shoulder.

"How hard?" Loki asked.

"Hard," Thor said.


End file.
